From Feeling Good to Feeling Great

You may be aware that my books, Feeling Good and the Feeling Good Handbook, have sold more than 5 million copies worldwide, and are still popular, even though Feeling Good was published 40 years ago. 

One reason for the books enduring popularity is groundbreaking research conducted by Dr. Forrest Scogin and his colleagues at the University of Alabama School of Medicine. They reported that if you simply give people seeking treat for moderate to severe depression a copy of Feeling Good, more than 50% will improve so much within four weeks that they no longer want or need treatment. What is crucial is that these patients received no psychotherapy or antidepressants during those four weeks. Three-year follow-up studies indicated that they did not relapse but actually continue to improve following their initial “bibliotherapy” with Feeling Good! That’s why Feeling Good is still the top-rated and best-selling book on depression.

So why have I now written the first true sequel to Feeling Good? Feeling Good was all about cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), which was a breakthrough that changed the history of psychiatry and psychology. When I wrote Feeling Good, there were only a handful of cognitive therapists in the world, and we were considered quacks. Since the publication of Feeling Good, CBT has become the most popular and most extensively researched form of psychotherapy in history.

But while CBT was terrific, it was not perfect. In fact, outcome studies with all current treatments for depression reveal that fewer than half of the patients even experience a 50% decrease in depression after months of treatment. And a 50% improvement isn’t even very good. Patients don’t want to feel somewhat less depressed, they want a total elimination of their symptoms and a huge boost in feeling of happiness and joy as well. And many—arguably most--simply aren’t getting it from any of the current treatments.

My clinical experience (more than 40,000 therapy sessions with depressed and anxious patients) and published research for the past four decades on how therapy actually works have provided important clues as to why some patients improve, while others do not. The answer seems to involve an important but somewhat neglected dimension that Freud called therapeutic “resistance.” 

Resistance means that most of us have mixed feelings when it comes to change. On the one hand, we may desperately want to change, but seem to resist change. The Jesuit mystic, Anthony DeMello, put it this way: “We yearn for change but cling to the familiar.” 

Perhaps you’ve experienced this yourself! We say that we’re going to stop procrastinating, or really want to lose weight, or that we should stop beating up on ourselves with self-critical thoughts, but it never seems to happen.  

Well, here here’s some terrific news. Over the past fifteen years, in my work with my weekly psychotherapy training group at Stanford, I believe I’ve finally discovered the cause of “resistance,” a puzzle that Freud tried, but failed, to solve. And you want to know something else that’s totally awesome? Your symptoms of depression and anxiety, and your resistance to change, are not the result of what’s wrong with you, but what’s right you. 

Depression and anxiety are not, in fact, “mental disorders” that result from a “chemical imbalance in your brain,” but are the expression of what’s most beautiful and awesome about you and your core values. And the moment you suddenly “see this,” your resistance will suddenly disappear, and recovery will be just a stone’s throw away.

You can learn all about these powerful techniques in my new book, Feeling Great! (September 2020) It’s not just for therapists, but for anyone who wants a little mental tune-up so you can overcome depression and anxiety and feel great! And that, I’m convinced, is the “cure” that almost all of us are looking for!

David Burns, MD

DAVID D. BURNS, MD, is an Adjunct Clinical Professor Emeritus of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the Stanford University School of Medicine. More than 50,000 mental health professionals have attended his workshops throughout the United States and Canada. His weekly Feeling Good Podcasts (approaching three million downloads) provide therapists and the general public alike with tips to overcome depression, anxiety, relationship conflicts, and habits and addiction. Dr. Burns lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. To learn more, visit  www.FeelingGreattheBook.com

The post From Feeling Good to Feeling Great appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

* This article was originally published here

If You’re Not Getting What You Want In Life, Read This

“What you focus on expands, and when you focus on the goodness in your life, you create more of it.” — Oprah Winfrey

There are three psychological concepts you must understand to start getting what you want and to stop perpetuating what you don’t.

Attention

Motivation

Desire

Attention

The first concept is attention — where you place your focus. Your focus is something you must train. Most people are very lazy with their focus, and their mind becomes like a garden filled with weeds.

Psychologists have a term, “Selective attention,” and what it means is that our mind focuses on things which seem relevant to us. When you’re in a noisy room, if you hear your name being said you’ll hear it, even though all the other noise just sounds like fuzz. When you’re on the road driving, you’ll notice specific cars — whether it’s cars you like or the same car you’re driving.

You can and must train your mind to focus exclusively on the things you desire. The challenge for most of us is that we spend much more of our time focusing on what we’re afraid of. We focus on what we don’t want to happen. We spend lots of time conjuring up Plan Bs, Cs, and Ds in case what we want doesn’t work out.

As a result, we are focusing on how things could go wrong or why things aren’t going right.

This is bad mind-training, because what we focus on expands. What we focus our attention on, we create more of.

Therefore, you need to focus on what you want. You need to be very specific in what you want. You must “begin with the end in mind,” as Stephen Covey put it. Getting clear on the specific outcome you want is essential for not only training your attention but for powering-up your motivation.

Motivation

Psychologists have divided our motivation to act into two categories: approach-orientation or avoid-orientation. Your “orientation” is your posture and energy toward your actions. Every action you take is driven by an outcome you’re seeking.

When you’re approach-oriented, you’re moving yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically toward what you want. You’re on the offensive. You’re moving proactively toward (“approaching”) a desired outcome.

When you’re avoid-oriented, you’re moving yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically away from something you don’t want. You’re on the defensive. And avoiding what you don’t want is incredibly important. But if that’s mostly what you’re spending your time doing — avoiding problems, avoiding failures, avoiding hard situations, avoiding loss—then you won’t be powerfully creating the outcomes you want.

Rather than avoiding failure, you need to direct your attention and motivation — your behavior and energy — toward what you want. You have to go all-in on what you actually want. You can’t keep hedging your bets. You can’t be overly cautious.

Motivation requires having an outcome you want and finding a path to creating that outcome. If you direct your attention at what you want, and if you direct your behavior at finding ways to create what you want, then your confidence and motivation will increase.

But if you’re constantly looking over your shoulder or thinking about all the things that could go wrong, then you’re muddling your pathway toward your true vision. Instead, you’re finding pathways out of failure, which isn’t actually moving you where you want to go.

When you get extremely committed to what you truly want, and when you stop living with fear, you can then fly. You can be bold and daring and not be overly cautious about the ensuing consequences or repercussions. You believe in yourself. You know you can do it. You know you’ll figure it out. You’re on a firm foundation. You have the support you need. Each and every day, you’re making power moves in and creating amazing outcomes.

Desire

Napoleon Hill said that “Desire is the starting point of all achievement.” If you want something enough to get it, you have to really want it. If you’re not getting what you want, then maybe you don’t want it bad enough.

Maybe, just maybe, you still want what you currently have.

In the book The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, the authors state,“Commitment is a statement of what ‘is’. You can know what you’re committed to by your results, not by what you say your commitments are. We are all committed. We are all producing results. The result is proof of a commitment.”

Your commitment is a reflection of your desire. If you REALLY want something, then you’ll commit to that thing. You’ll be willing to let go of other things. You’ll go all-in. You’ll go get it. You’ll find a way.

Commitment is a statement of “what is,” which means that what you currently have is what you’re currently committed to. Put another way, what you currently have is what you currently want. If you truly wanted something different, you’d get something different.

This can be a hard pill to swallow, because internally, we may genuinely think we want something more or something else. But if we aren’t actively creating that “something else,” then can we say we truly want it? Can we say we’re truly committed? The answer is “no.”

But you can train that desire. You can target your attention toward something you want, focus your motivation and behavior in that direction, and intensify your desire.

In order to do so, you’ll need to make your true goal a fundamental aspect of your identity. James Clear describes this in Atomic Habits, saying that when trying to build a habit, it’s much better to start with your identity.

Rather than trying to build the habit of eating healthy, you build the mindset of being a healthy person. When you start with identity, then you’re not dealing with willpower as much. Willpower is about fighting against something you don’t want. Identity is about aligning your behavior with who you already are.

So who is your future self?

Who is the person you truly want to be?

What are the circumstances or results you want to have?

How can you design your identity so that you see yourself as a person who already has or already does that?

If you want amazing health, then you need to identify as someone with the health you want. You need to be before you can do and do before you can have.

BE, DO, HAVE.

Making what you want a part of your identity means that it becomes your new story. It’s who you are. It’s what you stand for. It’s what you’re about. You’re no longer hiding it from other people. Your goals, behavior, and words fully align.

You also intensify desire simply by doing something. The more you do something, the more you’ll want it. For example, I want to get more into running. I’ve recently started doing it and the more I do it, the more I want to do it. In psychology, we call this Self-Signaling, and what it means is that our behavior signals back to us the type of person we are. You identify with the behaviors you do. If you wake up early in the morning, you’ll start to identify as a morning person.

Imagine it.

Speak it.

Do it.

Invest your time, money, and attention into it.

Commit to it.

Get it.

* This article was originally published here

How These Simple Life Changes Completely Transformed My Physical Health

Several months ago, my doctor sat me down and told me I had to lose weight. If not, I’d be in for some serious trouble down the road. At the time, I was 5’1 (still am, no amount of diet and exercise will help me grow taller, unfortunately) and weighed 190 pounds. According to my BMI, I was morbidly obese.

To have your doctor tell you you’re morbidly obese is rough. I didn’t feel obese. I play with my kids, walk an average of 5–8 kilometres a day, and am generally an active person. I like vegetables—how could I be an unhealthy person? But the numbers weren’t lying.

My clothes were feeling tight and awkward on my body, and by the end of the night, I’d be feeling physically drained.

After my conversation with the doc, it took me a few more months of denial before I knew I had to make some changes. I’ve always had issues with weight. It’s not an easy thing to admit because, well, we all want to be perfect.

But since I was a teen, I’d find myself emotionally eating in times of stress and heartache. We all know how much heartache teenagers go through, so this was a time that set a real precedent with my relationship to food.

Eating, almost manically so, made me feel safe, and it would give me that little boost of serotonin that I needed to get through the bad patches. The problem with emotional eating is that I wasn’t being mindful of what I was putting in my body. I would lie to myself while draped over the couch, saying that it wasn’t that bad to eat an entire bag of family-size chips because I had gone for a walk that afternoon.

Denial is one cold, hard bitch.

The linchpin to reverse these bad habits came without warning. Except I did have a warning from my doctor, a medical professional. I noticed that my children, who don’t have weight issues but could be predisposed to them, were beginning to adopt my inactive demeanour. They would complain about going for walks or playing outside. They would park themselves in front of the television and stay there for hours.

They, like me, would make excuses for their laziness. They were drawing while watching TV. Similarly, I was in front of the computer because I was working. I realized that I had to be a positive role model.

It was up to me to set the pattern for a happy, healthy lifestyle.

I’ve crashed dieted before. And although I’d lose 10–15 pounds initially (in a matter of weeks sometimes), I’d find the weight returning quickly. I wanted to do things differently this time.

Rather than a quick fix, I wanted to create a lifestyle I could stick with.

I still eat. I am not, nor will I ever be, a steamed broccoli and broiled chicken for every meal type of person. My husband is a chef, and I am a baker. I love rich foods.

It wasn’t the food that I was eating. Although we do appreciate sumptuous meals now and then, we are home cooks through and through. I can’t remember the last time I ate a fast food lunch or anything prepackaged. It was the quantity and times at which I was eating that was the real problem.

Intermittent Fasting

I did a ton of research into intermittent fasting and found that this was something I could easily incorporate into my life. Using the 16–8 model, one fasts for 16 hours of the day and has 8 hours in which to consume their daily caloric intake.

I usually eat dinner around 5:30–6 p.m. After dinner is when I start my fast. No longer do I find myself getting a snack at 10:30 at night, and by this, I mean stuffing my face with the five-cent candies my husband brings home for when he (a naturally thin person) wants a treat.

If I am finished eating by 6 p.m., I break my fast at 10 a.m.. I’ll admit the first few weeks were tough not to eat breakfast immediately upon waking. But it made me better appreciate the food I am putting into my body.

Instead of eating that leftover pizza for breakfast, I eat a slice of homemade bread, an egg, and some veggies instead. I feel much better throughout the day!

Stay Accountable To The Calories

I’m not calorie-counting, exactly. As mentioned previously, I wanted to begin habits that would carry through as a permanent fixture. So rather than weighing each piece of food I consume and vigilantly scanning every barcode of boxed food I eat, instead, I am keeping a food journal.

Since COVID, most of our food is homemade, so I don’t have access to my meal’s exact caloric intake, and the thought of breaking each foodstuff down to determine its calories seems too monotonous.

I downloaded an app that I can record my meals and any snacks into, and it gives me a roundabout number of calories that specific food consists of. It’s not exact, but it gives me a baseline of what I am eating and, more importantly, keeps me accountable.

Likewise, I record my calorie output. If I go for an uphill hike with the dog, I register it in my app. It gives me the number of calories I have burned on such a walk and adds it to my caloric bank for the day.

Choose to move!

It is so easy to fall into a sedentary lifestyle in today’s day and age. We can order food to our door while binge-watching our favorite shows on Netflix for hours on end.

These choices trap us by calling themselves luxuries. For the past month, I have chosen to move more. I walk the dog three times a day (she’s so happy about it).

I park further away from the grocery store doors to get some more steps in for the day.

If I want to go down to the pub for a beer with some friends, which I still love to do, I walk instead of getting a cab. Now getting up and moving has started to become natural, and it doesn’t feel like that hard of work at all.

Remember what the tortoise says: slow and steady wins the race.

Eat! But make conscious decisions of what and when you are eating.

Be accountable. Use a tracking app to stay responsible for how much you are moving and consuming.

Move. Give your body a chance to exercise the way it was meant to.

Most importantly, I’ve shifted my ideas on why a new healthy lifestyle is essential. No longer am I on a quest only to lose weight for appearance’s sake; instead, it is health, happiness, and life’s longevity that keeps me moving forward.

* This article was originally published here

When It All Gets A Little Too Much, Read This

Has life gotten so heavy lately? Has the pain become too much?

Pause. Take a deep breath and humor me for a while.

Have you ever seen a bonfire? The colors of the fire—blue, yellow, orange, red. The sound it makes when it crackles. The smell of burning wood. The way the fire dances with the wind, how it embraces you with its heat. It’s one of the most beautiful things you will ever see. It silences you. It draws you in. Amazing, isn’t it? But see, for the flames to rise, something has to burn. Wood. Paper. Coal. Something needs to turn to ash for the fire to come alive.

People collect ashes as they go through life. Memories. Failures. Regrets. Some choose to burn and let them go, but others carry it all around with them.

Sometimes we become so scared and lost that we refuse to let go. We stash these ashes in our hearts and on our minds. And every day they become heavier and heavier until we can no longer carry them. That’s why we get stuck. See, the truth is if you want to live, you need to keep moving forward. And you can’t do that if you’re carrying too much.

You need to realize that you lost all the things you were supposed to lose to be where you need to be. Holding on to them won’t bring them back. The right things will come to replace them all, despite every roadblock, discouragement, and disadvantage.

Don’t give up.

You may think you are not enough, that you are weak, but let me tell you, you have what it takes to get through this. With every tear, every pain, every single time you choose to survive, you’re taking one step closer towards your victory. You will heal. You will make it. There will come a day when you’ll be completely, undeniably happy again.

Get up from the floor you find yourself face down on. Choose to try again. Take risks again. Dream again. Maybe laugh again. Don’t believe the lies you tell yourself. You never know what’s waiting for you around the corner. But you won’t see it, not if you give up. So, don’t. Choose to rise every single day.

How much ash are you carrying around? The weight’s getting too much, isn’t it? It’s time. Let go. Burn them and slowly watch your flames appear.

* This article was originally published here

Kodiak student earns top youth congressional award

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (KTUU) - Four-hundred hours of community service, 200 hours of personal development and physical fitness and five days of travel. …

* This article was originally published here

How to live with greater simplicity

When we are around 20 years old, we start to become conscious of something, perhaps influenced by environmental awareness or by a genuine …

* This article was originally published here

1 Choice + 2 Simple Words Is All It Takes To Be Successful

Success is not an event or a life changing moment, it comes down to one simple decision... “All overnight success takes about 10 years.” – Jeff …

* This article was originally published here

Here’s What I Wish Someone Had Told Me About The Journey To Healing

Healing is falling in love with life, and sometimes it’s falling out the day after, but most importantly, it’s never giving up.

I wish I could tell you that healing is straightforward, that healing is linear, that everything simply clicks into place and suddenly you’re free, happy, and cured. But the truth is, healing is messy; at times, it’s ugly. Other times, it’s just chaotic.

There’s nothing really pretty about removing yourself from the places you’ve found comfort in and throwing yourself headfirst into the deep end. It’s not really fun having to drag yourself out of bed against the forces of your own resistance. If I’m being honest, in the early stages, there’s probably absolutely nothing attractive or enticing about the long journey ahead. You may ask, Why would anyone want to put themselves through that? That feeling of hope, only to have it taken away; that pain, the relapse; that endless cycle. Why would anyone want that? I’ll tell you: No one wants that. No one wanders and accidentally finds themselves on this path because it looked lush and lovely on the outset.

This journey of healing and recovery is a choice made because it’s a choice that is necessary. We choose it because we know, for our own sake and sanity, we need it. We caught a glimpse of what life on the other side could hold, and we made that split second decision. And once that decision is made, it’s done. When you choose a path of healing, you choose it for good. No matter how long it takes, this is the path you’re on: the path to a life of growth, gratitude, and everything your higher self screams for.

It takes time to heal from the things that once broke you, whether that be a situation, a someone, or even yourself. Remind yourself of why you chose this path and don’t give up now just because it’s taking a while. Be patient while you put together the pieces, love yourself, and forgive yourself. You won’t get it right the first time, but with each time, you will be one step closer.

* This article was originally published here

7 Steps For Mastering The Motivation You Need To Work Out

Staying motivated is one of the major keys to succeeding in almost all areas of life, not just fitness. If we’re not motivated, we are more likely to give up and abandon our goals, whether they are business goals or personal goals. Most times, people are quick to give up on their fitness goals, as it is easily pushed to the side when life happens.

We all go through ups and downs, good days and bad days. It is important to remember that this only makes us human. I believe the fundamental factor is that when you do have an “off day,” it does not determine your actions from that point forward. You must get up and keep moving. When it comes to setting health and fitness goals, staying motivated to work out at the gym or at home, it is important that we understand that being fit and healthy really isn’t a definite goal but a journey (a continuum of making healthy choices).

So here are seven steps to mastering the motivation you need.

1. Keep a positive mindset

If you associate working out as being a chore or a duty, eventually you will end up despising it, dread going, and end up falling out of your routine entirely. This is the total opposite reaction of what we want. I want you to think about why you are doing it and how good you will feel after your workout and how proud you will be. Focusing on the positive side if training will change your whole experience and make it more enjoyable and you will actually start looking forward to your next workout.

2. Never compare yourself

Living a healthy lifestyle is a sign of self-love. When you work out, you are doing it for you to make yourself feel great from that point forward. Acknowledge this love you are giving yourself and nurture it. Know that you deserve to treat your mind and body with your utmost attention, love, appreciation, and respect. So never compare yourself to the next person. Remember we are all different and that’s what makes us unique, so that means we all progress at different levels.

3. Create a plan

Don’t just wing it. Have a plan. What is it you want to achieve that week? Set yourself goals. With each and every workout session, you should be progressing towards your goal. This keeps training exciting and it becomes something you look forward to.

4. Follow like-minded people

“Surround yourself with people that reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel, energies are contagious.” — Rachel Wolchin

Look up people who have similar interests as you on all social media platforms and follow them! Each and every day, as you scroll through your feed, you will be reminded of how there is someone out there with the same goals and interests as you, and if they are good, it could be even more motivating for you.

5. Alternate your workouts

By changing up your workouts regularly, you will stay focused and also find it more exciting and interesting. Sometimes we figure out a routine that we feel comfortable with, and this is great if it makes us feel comfortable and more confident doing it. However, we can fall into a rut and end up finding it boring, which can result in developing a lack of motivation to keep going back. I always try to mix up my workouts every single time to challenge myself more and keep the excitement going.

6. Schedule rest days

Sometimes even the most hardworking and determined people need a break. Rest days are very important and essential to our growth and revitalization of the body. Believe me, this can really help you pick up your motivation again and keep on going. Have one- or two-day breaks from training. Get plenty of rest and then back to training.

7. Enjoy the process

You probably heard the famous saying that the road to success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome. Focusing on the journey also shines a light on what else you get out of trying to reach your goals. Enjoy the ups and downs, and above all, learn from it. Figure out what works best for you and enjoy the process. Soon you will look back and smile to see how far you have come.

So there you have it. Take these seven steps and start implementing them today to increase your motivation. Stay safe and healthy out there.

* This article was originally published here

Here’s To The Girls Who Never Gave Up

Here’s to the girls who never gave up.

The ones who were told, “No, you can’t.”

The ones who were taunted and terrorized at every turn. The ones who were told that they were too fat, or too skinny, or too pretty, or ugly. The ones who were told that they were not smart enough or too smart for their own good. The ones who were told to stay in their lane, or stay quiet, or pretend like they didn’t know the answer when, in fact, they did.

Here’s to the girls who never gave up.

The ones who tuned out the noise, the chatter, and the chorus of “no.” The ones who were able to mute the whispers of lies that told them that they were not good enough – so that they could hear the little voice inside of them that said, “you can.”

Here’s to the girls who never gave up.

The ones who were able to rise above the mess and the heartache. The ones who were told what they could or could not do with their own bodies – but found a way to claim their rights, anyway—the ones who told the world that they are not to be bought or to be owned.

Here’s to the girls who never gave up.

The ones who continue to soar to great heights, despite the ones around them trying to clip their wings. The ones who didn’t give up on dreams, but instead, persisted – and persevered.

Here’s to the girls who never gave up.

You are the doctors, the lawyers, the teachers. You are the mothers, the wives, the girlfriends. You are the artists, the writers, the thinkers, and do-gooders. You are the poets, the architects, the designers, and the judges. You are the engineers, the businesswomen, the change-makers. You are the ones who now sit at tables that never put out a chair for you. You are the things that we have yet to dream of – but you are the ones who will make those dreams a reality.

You are the hope of the women who live within you – your ancestors who fought and dared to dream beyond what they were given.

Here’s to the girls who never gave up.

You are more than one thing.

You have always been more than one thing.

* This article was originally published here

The Truth Is, You’re Supposed To Feel Lost in Life

Something we fail to realize until it’s often too late is that plans are not guaranteed outcomes. They are possible results.

We often grow up assuming that life will go according to our plans and that one day everything will fall into place by the sheer virtue of time. We go through life, we stumble, we hesitate, we fail, we make new plans. We struggle so much that we assume this means we are going to win one day. It does not.

For most of my life, I thought I was going to climb the corporate ladder one day. So I studied, kept my grades up, and joined University, only to realize that everything I thought I wanted meant nothing to me.

No one wants to face the fact that they might have been wasting years of their life and a substantial amount of money chasing a dream that never belonged to them in the first place. Most importantly, no one wants to let go of the only way they imagined their future to be.

It’s uncomfortable. It’s scary. But to me, the fear of being stuck somewhere I didn’t belong was far worse than the fear of not knowing what’s next.

Real change only happens in uncertainty

Life doesn’t go according to plans. Not everybody becomes the person they are meant to be. Not everyone wins. This is because not everyone wants to deal with feeling lost in life.

We are, by nature, comfort-seeking animals. We are in constant pursuit of the familiar, the known, and the simplistic. We seek security over purpose and comfort over happiness.

We have a lot of addictions in life, and the majority of them are so mild we don’t even recognize them as addictions. We are mildly addicted to our phone, our laptop, our relationship, our routines, our sense of self.

Mild addictions are the most dangerous because you run the risk of never becoming aware of them. They feel unharmful, comforting, good even, so you continue to play the reinforcement loop in your head that makes you compelled to act on them and the cycle never ends. Until these reinforcement loops start breaking, you never wake up.

When you choose to stay where you are, to play small, to never begin, to never leap, you are choosing out of fear of feeling lost. You are trading the fear of uncertainty for the fear of staying the same.

You tell yourself that things will change, that you will change, but you don’t realize that change never happens in the future, it always starts in the present. And more often than not, it starts when it’s the only option left.

Often, we decide to change, to rise, to move forward, not because we want to but because we are forced to. Often, it takes our comfort zone to collapse, our certainties to break, our shells to crumble for us to realize that it’s time to act on our mild addictions and level up.

This is why you are supposed to feel lost in life. Because if you never feel that way, you may never commit to change, you may never grow, and you may never become the person you’ve always intended to be.

It is what we lose that allows us to find ourselves

If I stayed in the wrong University; if I followed the path someone else built for me; if I never moved out of my small town; if I never traded my security for the possibility of self-actualization; if I didn’t leave the well-paved road for the steep alley, I would have never fulfilled my life purpose.

The truth is that we all have fears, we all have doubts, we all have experiences we wish we never went through and people we wish we never met. It’s something we will never be free from. And that’s okay. What’s not okay is letting those emotions dictate how you are going to live your life.

If the only reason you are avoiding change is that you are scared of what will happen, if you are staying the same and keeping a low profile because of the fear of uncertainty, then it is possible that you get to the very end of this thing and realize that you spent your days feeling apathetic, unexcited, smoldering resentments and fears.

Even worse, you may realize that you never got to know yourself, because the only way you get to know someone is when they are facing difficulty. In other words, if you never feel lost, if you never reach your breaking point, which is the ground zero on which most of life really begins, you can’t say you have lived at all.

Often, it’s what we lose that allows us to get in touch with our most vulnerable self. It’s when we face uncertainty that we are forced to forge a new path for ourselves. It’s always discomfort that opens a new field of potential for us.

What you need to know

By nature, we reject uncertainty and seek comfort. When we choose to stay where we are, to play small, to never begin, to never leap, we are choosing out of fear of feeling lost.

But in trying to avoid uncertainty, we become a shell of the person we were meant to be. In being willing — or forced — to experience it, we become exactly who we had always intended. We become more than we were and everything we possibly could be.

* This article was originally published here

So are you going to do it?

No, are you… Are you willing to step outside your comfort zone? Will you take the leap? In my last two articles, I shared seven strategies that will …

* This article was originally published here

How To Stay Positive While Losing Weight

Losing weight can be difficult under any circumstances, but it can be especially difficult when you aren't feeling happy with yourself or your progress. The reality is, though, that being down on yourself or what you have accomplished so far can end up making the process even harder. The good news is, though, that you don't have to feel stuck in this situation. There can be many ways to change your outlook and start feeling more positive about the steps you're taking to be healthier and happier.

Try New Things To Get a Boost

Whether you just started working out and dieting and aren't seeing the progress that you thought you would, or you've been doing it for a while and have hit a plateau, it can be easy to feel discouraged when you aren't meeting your goals on the timeline that you wanted to. In this kind of situation, finding new ways to give your efforts a boost can be helpful.

One way to do this is to try a supplement. Whether you opt for a comprehensive multivitamin to fill in nutritional gaps in your diet and provide you with more energy, or for a supplement that might have weight loss supporting properties, a supplement can be a simple way to give yourself a boost. Before selecting a supplement, though, it can be a good idea to do your research by reading le-vel thrive reviews so that you have an idea of what a supplement can accomplish for you.

Make a Big Deal Out of Small Successes

Another way to stay positive even when you don't feel things are going as well as you want them to is to start adjusting how you look at your accomplishments. The trap that many fall into is setting high goals and then getting upset when they fail to reach them quickly. They may be so set on these high goals that they fail to recognize all of the progress they have made. By celebrating all the things you have accomplished, even if they seem small, you can be better aware of just how far you have come, and have confidence that you can keep making more positive changes.

Embrace Your Flaws

Sometimes, even when weight loss is going well, some may still not feel as happy about their progress as they would like. This can be because they thought that weight loss would change everything, and remove their insecurities. The truth is, that even after weight loss, you will be the same person and even if you feel better about your weight, you will still have many of the same insecurities that you had before. By learning to accept your insecurities, even if you don't like them, you can release some negative feelings that may be holding you back from truly enjoying the positive changes you've been making.

Don't Go By the Scale

Letting your mood for the day depend on the number you see on the scale can be a recipe for discouragement, especially when you are working hard to lose weight. What some don't realize is that your body weight can fluctuate due to many factors, and that even if you are eating well and exercising regularly, the scale may not always show the progress that you are actually making.

One cause of this is that if you are exercising, you can end up gaining muscle, which can make your weight go up, even though you are improving your physique and overall health. Water weight can be another culprit, and a slow digestion can be another. The less that you focus on the scale and more on maintaining good daily habits, the faster it will feel like you are meeting your goals.

The Bottom Line

Losing weight is rarely easy. Not only that, but it can be even more difficult if you're feeling discouraged about your progress. The good news is, though, that by doing things like giving yourself a boost when you hit a plateau and not letting your mood be dependent on what the scale says, you can start feeling better about your progress today.

The post How To Stay Positive While Losing Weight appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

* This article was originally published here

6 Reminders When Your Dreams Are Taking Forever To Reach

1. If you give up on yourself then there’s zero chance you’re going to succeed. However, if you keep going, if you keep putting in the work and trying your hardest, then there is a chance you could reach your dreams. There’s a chance you could end up with everything you’ve ever wanted. Since you love what you’re doing anyway, there’s no reason to quit in the middle of the race. Giving up guarantees that you’re never going to reach your destination. Trying means that you have a real shot at reaching the finish line.

2. “Your reaction to the test is part of the test.” This quote from Delilah S. Dawson rings true, regardless of what you’re trying to achieve. You’re not going to reach success overnight. You’re going to have to work for it. That means you’re going to have to remain patient. The road ahead of you isn’t going to be smooth from start to finish. There are going to be speedbumps along the way, but the way you handle the issues that arise will determine how successful you’ll be in the future.

3. You’re closer to your dreams today than you were yesterday. You might feel like you aren’t making any progress because you haven’t gotten the results you want yet, but take a look at how far you’ve come. You’re not the same person as you were weeks, months, or years ago. You’ve grown. You’ve learned. You’re inching closer and closer to your destination, even if you don’t realize it. You might have a long way to go, but you don’t want to give up when you’ve already come so far.

4. Your dreams are dreams for a reason. You want this. You need this. So why would quitting be an option in your mind? If you want something badly enough, if it’s the only thing that will make you happy, then you should keep going. Ignore the people who are instilling doubts in your mind. Ignore the pessimistic voice in the back of your head, trying to convince you to give up. Remember, you’re not foolish for trying. You’re incredibly brave.

5. Comparing your journey to somebody else is only a waste of time. Maybe you feel like you’re behind. Maybe you feel like you should have achieved more by now. It’s only human nature to compare yourself to those around you, but remember that timelines are imaginary. There isn’t a certain age when you’re supposed to reach success. It can happen at any point in time. It might happen for others earlier or might happen for you later but it doesn’t say anything about your worth. You’re simply on different paths than the people around you.

6. You should never feel silly for following your dreams. Don’t give up because you’re worried you’re wasting your time. Don’t give up because you’re scared of failure. Only give up if the journey is no longer bringing you happiness. Otherwise, you can rest assured that you’re doing the right thing. You’re following your heart. You’re taking a chance on yourself. You’re choosing to keep moving forward, even when it’s hard, even when it’s inconvenient, even when someone else in your shoes might simply give up.

* This article was originally published here

Cast Your Circle, Wild Woman

Cast your circle, wild woman, and look me in the eye. When you are in the middle of expansion, you are in the midst of death. At times, offering your soul-truth-art-expression in this world can feel frightening. The movement forward ever more deeply into the deeper layers of our soul-truth-art-world will not only continue to shake you up, but others as well. The world is working toward letting this light in, as you are.

The expansion of your soul is the death of something somewhere in the universe. It is the death of chance, choice, encounters, and experiences that never come to be.

Expansion is the undertaking of your soul for full sensual embodiment. It is not a striving-or-arriving, it is simply the embrace of the full-forced grace that prevails each moment. Close your eyes, sweet child. Do you hear that, the world around you, that world inside you? Do you hear? Not just with your sensuous being, but hearing with your soul. Do you hear the world rippling forward inside you, and you in the world?

There is no buffer, no in-between space.

Humans have strived to create the buffer, to segment, to seperate, to dismantle and disengage. Things, people, and even the planet are caged up, a thing to be owned—or not, kicked out and cast into the past so readily. The woman of the now, the priestess, the hag, the crone or wild woman that is yearning to shake you—wake you—with her intuitive insights, her babbling bullshit, and murky-golden-mucky past, parachuting down from a dream-like-world. Darling, these things, those things, that you’ve kept creeping at the back of your mind won’t harm you, they will wake you. Life is not a business, life is a sensuous encounter of the soul. The soul of your sensuality is not terrifying. It is, however:

Fluid

Dynamic

Wild

Free

Incomparable

Incomprehensible

Awe-inspiring

Cast your circle and look me in the eye. When you do, whisper these words, “I am fluid, I am dynamic, I am wild, I am free, I am incomparable, I am incomprehensible, I am awe inspiring.”

Be easy on yourself, sweet one—you are in the midst of expansion, and with expansion comes death.

* This article was originally published here

For Everyone Who Has Ever Felt They Were Too Much

Have you ever felt like you were too much?

Today I sat down to journal, and the prompt was about the first time in my life where I didn’t feel like enough. And what came to me immediately was the feeling of being too much. Too emotional. Too vulnerable. Too honest. Too imaginative.

I thought of all the times I held myself back, settled for less, and conceded prematurely because I was self-conscious about, well, everything. And I thought about how that fear of being too much kept me from recognizing that my too-much-ness was actually part of my purpose.

Over time, I realized there’s no such thing as being too much, and that I had to look to the people and the spaces that didn’t just accept me or make room for me but loved me wholly.

I realized that I do not need to make myself small to fit in, because that means those spaces were not big enough for me.

I realized that I do not need to settle or lower my expectations for love, because real love will exceed even my wildest dreams.

I realized that I do not need to change who I am to connect with others, because the right connections will be their whole selves too.

I realized that I do not need to worry if my story fits in with the rest of the world, because I am the author of my own life.

I realized that I do not need to stay on a predetermined path, because my path is a mix of side streets and dirt roads that lead who knows where.

I realized that I do not need to apologize for my bursting heart, because it is my heart that makes me all that I am and all that I am to become.

I realized that I do not need to tame my desires or dull my goals, because it’s thanks to my big dreams that I’ve been able to make big moves.

I realized that I am neither too much nor enough. I am exactly as I am meant to be, and I want you to know that if you’ve ever felt like too much, you are allowed to expect more of the world to meet you at your level of enoughness.

You are worthy of that, love.

* This article was originally published here

10 Pieces of Advice My Younger Self Would Love to Hear

To my younger self and to all the younger selves out there who are lost now as I was back then. My younger self was clumsy, shy, at a loss, and …

* This article was originally published here

Finding Your Power

Do you feel your voice goes unheard, making it difficult for you to make an impression on others? Are you unable to create the change in your life …

* This article was originally published here

The Secret to Success That Most People Miss

Written by Taylor Eaton As a money mindset coach and Human Design expert, I’ve worked with hundreds of entrepreneurs to help them achieve success in …

* This article was originally published here

Why Education Should Be a Lifelong Process

Many of us consider the end of our formal schooling to be the end of our education. We leave school, begin our professional careers, and shift our focus away from learning.

But growth is a lifelong process, not limited to formal education. Our wisdom accumulates indirectly through life experience.

The development of our wisdom can be expedited and expanded by concomitant gains in knowledge. We can make more of what we know, and better understand our experiences.

If we wish to truly make the most of ourselves and maximize our potential, we should view learning as a lifelong process. It doesn’t matter whether that process is directed by an institution or by oneself.

Material Limitations

There are inevitable reasons why formal schooling comes to an end.

For many, setting entire years aside to learn full-time only makes sense when they are young and at the beginning of their careers. Changing course is expensive and time-intensive; not all of us have the luxury of starting a new career later in life.

So, as our educational commitments draw near their end, we have to decide whether to renew them. Our decision can only be made in light of our current resources and circumstances, which themselves may be abundant and permissive or scarce and restrictive. There is always a question of return-on-investment to be considered.

Many people may need more time and experience to learn about themselves by the time they are forced to make a decision about their future. If they proceed, they risk their time and money on an education that may turn out to be of limited use or interest.

The level of risk depends on the resources and support available to the individual in question. If their financial resources are scarce, it may not make sense to risk these resources on an opulent education.

Those who do take the risk are highly incentivized not to change their program. If they do, their progress will be lost, their time and money wasted. 

These individuals may be forced to continue on their trajectory towards a certain career path, even if they’ve long since realized that this path is of limited relevance to them. People change, and youth is a dangerous time to be making lifelong decisions.

Because of the cost and risk of formal education, there is a realistic limit on the amount of formal education that each of us can viably pursue.

Apples to Oranges

The inevitable end of our formal education, however, needn’t spell the end of our informal education. We have the good fortune of living in an age when literacy is widespread, and educational resources are broadly disseminated. We even have our choice of medium. Self-education, therefore, is flexible.

Contrast this with formal education. Formal education is generally meant to lead towards acquisition of a credential; however, it is not certain that the knowledge developed in pursuit of said credential will actually lead to any personal growth, or the development of true wisdom. 

This is a consequence of the inflexibility of formal education. Those who seek a credential are required to follow the strict dictates of their program. They are required to take particular courses at a particular time. 

When we self-educate, on the other hand, we set the structure. Since we are allowed complete freedom over the content and timing of our education, we can be assured of its value.

Its value, however, does not come in the form of a credential, so self-education cannot improve our earning potential in any direct way.

Instead, its value is in its enhancement of our wisdom. At any given stage in our lives, we gravitate towards that which complements the stage in question. We will naturally seek out information that satisfies our needs, curiosities, and questions. 

In educating ourselves, therefore, we take an active role in developing the wisdom that we need to overcome our adversities, rather than passively waiting for life experience to teach us (often painful) lessons.

A Rewarding Challenge

Self-education demands little or no financial investment. Where it demands our time, it does so with total flexibility, and where it demands our interest, it allows us to choose its subject matter. 

The only barrier to self-education is motivation. Formal education offers us the structure of deadlines and the support of a community. Self-education does not.

Overcoming this barrier requires us to consider the value of our education, as well as the value of ourselves. This is why self-respect is so valuable: if we don’t consider ourselves a worthwhile investment, we won’t bother investing in ourselves.

Those of us who wish to make the most of our lives must take their education into their own hands. We must become the architects of our own support systems and incentives.

In doing so, we become the architects of our own minds, and the authors of our own life stories.

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The goal of Superspective is to provide a support system and to encourage introspection; when we use these tools to self-actualize, we can each contribute to the world in our own unique way. See more of what Superspective has to offer at superspective.org

The post Why Education Should Be a Lifelong Process appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

* This article was originally published here