5 Ways Dorm Life Promotes Student Growth and Development

Jakarta. Dormitory life is an experience like no other. Dorm life provides a home away from home, a place for students to live in a community and …

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The Surprising Truth about Quitting Your Job After the Pandemic

If you’re thinking about handing in your resignation, you may have more company than you expected. Some experts believe that the majority of the workforce could be looking for a new job as the pandemic winds down. Many workers plan to move on if their company discontinues remote-work options. Meanwhile, many businesses are reporting that […]

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How Negative Thinking Can Put You on the Wrong Path of Life

Negativity is what has led most people to ruins. Evil thoughts and ideas are the results of negativity. The sad thing is, we are humans and there is no way we can do it without thinking negatively.

At times, even when you know your success is around the corner, negative thoughts still pop into your mind. Negative thinking is normal. 

The question here is, are you sinking deep into the world of negativity? When those thoughts pop inside your mind, do you allow them to take over you?

Negative thinking holds a very strong power of intimidation. Do you know what happens when you get intimidated by your thoughts? You sink deep, deep, and deep into the world of negativity. You lose your courage, confidence, and positivity! How can negative thinking put you on the wrong path in life?

You begin to lose yourself 

Your true self is the lovely you, the positive, and confident person. Yes, when you allow negative thoughts to be your day-to-day norm, you will surely lose yourself to darkness, and the positive, happy, confident side of you will begin to disappear gradually.

Self-intimidation is one of the greatest power negative thinking holds. When you sink deep into negative thinking you lose your self-worth, hope, (God is the only true hope), confidence, and most of all you push yourself too far.

You just feel not satisfied, you feel you are not good enough, you feel you are bad. You keep doing this till you sink deeper into the worst, which is “self-condemnation”.

Self-condemnation is the deepest and most sorrowful effect of negative thinking. The moment you condemn yourself is when you have lost your shield. The shield that guides you is lost.

Negative thinking makes you succumb finally

You succumb! Do you understand what it means to succumb? Since your shield is lost already, more negative thoughts will come in to push you even further. When this happens you will now begin to accept whatever comes your way.

Pains and tears will also follow, you imagine yourself, just pitying yourself. Yes, that is the power of negative thinking and that's why you should never let negative thoughts grip and overtake you.

When you succumb, your negative thoughts will transform into ideas. These are nothing Good but evil. 

A perfect illustration: A guy broke up with his girlfriend, however, the breakup affected him the most. What do you think this guy would do? Yes, he automatically taps into the world of negativity! He begins to think negatively. One negative thought can have a billion meanings. 

The result of the negative thought is this, it is either he does what he has never done before or commits suicide. He may have never taken cigarettes or weed before, he may have never taken alcohol in his life but because of negative thoughts, he will consider doing those things. That is the power of negative thinking. 

Never succumb to negative thoughts. They will surely come because of one situation or the other. You just have to stay with God, staying with God will make you stay positive.

When you succumb is when you begin to process your negative thoughts. The moment you think of doing whatever evil thing you had to think about is the moment you have finally succumbed. Have you?

Negative thinking connects you with negative people

There are over 7 billion people on Earth, however, there are too many bad people. Negative thinking connects you with negative people or bad people. Then, you now begin to share ideas till the worst happens.

You can't just think negatively. One thing or situation must have caused you to think negatively. Some people, in the process of sharing their situations or problems with others, are where they have gotten their negative ideas from.

It puts you with the wrong people at the wrong time. The final road of negativity is when you connect with even more evil people. You share ideas and do bad things together. Why? Because you lost your shield, you succumbed already!

When you connect with evil or negative people you share more thoughts and do more evil things, over and over again. You must never lose yourself to negativity. Fight, fight and fight. 

Most importantly, stand with God. There is so much joy and unending positivity and hope when you stand with God.  

Never lose yourself to mere negative thoughts, it may be hard and unbearable but negative thoughts should not be the next option. Even though they would come, even if they will press you, even when it is so painful, always love God and love yourself. There is indescribable peace and confidence when you stand in God.

Author bio:

TheThrives is a Personal development blog that writes about confidence, self-esteem, productivity, Godliness, Success, motivation, and inspiration. 

The post How Negative Thinking Can Put You on the Wrong Path of Life appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

* This article was originally published here

Starting a Podcast to Market Your Business

32% of Americans listen to podcasts at least once a month, and that figure is changing rapidly. Podcast episodes are easy for people to search, access, and listen to. Listeners can find most podcasts for free on different platforms including Apple Podcasts and Spotify. With the podcast industry evolving, these platforms make it easier and […]

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How to Find Your True Professional Path

Figure this out; an average career person spends most of his or her waking time at work. Even when relaxing away from work, the thoughts keep wandering back to work matters. If it happens that the work feels boring or unsatisfying, it can easily take a toll on that person’s physical and mental health. Just thinking of tolerating long hours of mundane tasks, or thinking of waking up the next day to a dreadful job can lead to frustration, stress, or even depression. In addition, it can be very difficult to advance in such a career.

That is why leading a meaningful, fulfilling and lifelong career path is very important for your overall well-being.

However, finding your true career path is easier said than done. Many factors come into play when settling on a career path. There is your passion, childhood dreams, family expectations, and the need to pay for bills, just to mention but a few.  

Considering all these, how do you find your true professional path? Here are 4 steps that you can take to discover the career path that is right for you.

1. Assess your 4Ps

Your career path should be shaped around your passion, preferences, personality, and principles. Put these four elements into considerations when choosing your professional path.

Doing something that you are passionate about will make you happy in your work. It will give you a sense of a purpose and you will have an inner drive that will push you forward. If you are lucky enough to combine your profession with your passion then it will not feel like work, it will be more of a pleasure. Moreover, not only will you make a living out of it, but your job will give meaning to your life. 

When it comes to preference, you would thrive better doing something in the nature of what you prefer. For instance, do you prefer working full time or on a flexible schedule? Or, do you prefer working in an office setup or the outdoors? Do you prefer to work with your hands or be in front of a laptop? Do you like having a setup plan or going with the flow? Keep all these questions in mind when you are considering future career choices.  

Your personality would also matter in that if you are the reserved type or an introvert, you can find it hard to work well with people. Taking up a career where you don’t have to deal with a lot of people would be your best bet. On the other hand, if you are a lively extrovert you will feel energized by being around big groups of people. If you have an artistic mind you will succeed in more creative fields, whereas analytical minds would feel better if they have to deal with numbers. 

Lastly, we all have life principles that we live by. Your right career path should align with and enhance your principles in life. If altruism is crucial in your life, you should find careers that make a difference in the world and help people. Similarly, if you feel strongly about social justice, you might consider working for different human rights organizations that are in alignment with your life principles.

You can take personal assessment tests online to discover your 4Ps.

2.      Make a list of your options

After discovering your passion, preferences, personality, and principles, write down career options that match these four. For passion, think of the things that you can do even if you were not paid. Your hobbies should give you a good place to start from. For preference, write down career options that align with what you prefer in a day-to-day work environment. Do the same for your personality and principles. The idea here is to come up with an exhaustive list in order to make sure that you don’t leave any stone unturned.

3.      Find an overlap

After coming up with a long list of career options, you need to start narrowing down to the one that is truly right for you. This is the point where you need to find your career sweet spot. This is the point where what you are good at, what you enjoy doing, and what the world or employers need come into an intersection.        

In the list that you have, think of what you are good at in terms of skills. Think of what you enjoy doing in terms of interests. Finally, put into consideration that one of the goals of being a career person is to make a living out of your work. Research on whether the careers that match what you are good at and what you enjoy have a demand in the job market. If there is no demand for it, are there ways that you can monetize them and make money out of them?

Settle on a career where the three overlap seamlessly.

4.      Develop your skills

After settling on a single career path, now is the time to assess and develop your skills necessary to succeed in it. If you are already working in that line of work, you can use your current position to take advantage of on-the-job-training opportunities to develop your skills further. You can also look out for internship positions or places you can volunteer to have a glimpse of the day-to-day work, and hone your skills while at it.

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* This article was originally published here

In Need of Professional Learning Worthy of an Explorer? Create Your Own.

This post was written by educator Anne Lewis. We teach from who we are. Teaching young people to embrace an Explorer Mindset is more critical than …

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5 Reasons You Should Start Meditating Today

Meditation isn’t as complex as it sounds. Whether you’re hesitant to try it or have been practicing mindfulness for years, the health benefits are the same. If you’re not sure whether meditation is right for you, you should try it out and see how you feel afterward. You might find yourself wanting to learn more about the practice.

What Is Meditation?

Meditation has been practiced and studied for years. At its core, meditation allows you to reconnect with your mind, body and soul by slowing down and focusing on yourself, your breathing and your surroundings.

Around 33% of people want to learn more about meditation or start meditating through online programs. People have likely heard of the benefits but aren’t sure where to start. If sitting in silence makes you uncomfortable, you could try guided meditation first.

Guided meditation is typically done through a video or in person, where someone else, usually a teacher, walks you through relaxing your body and visualizing certain scenes or events. With enough practice, you’ll be able to guide yourself through meditation and sit with your current surroundings.

The Top 5 Benefits of Meditation

Regular meditation leads to more health benefits than just the five listed here, but these might be the most popular reasons people meditate and practice mindfulness. By slowing down and focusing on yourself first, then on your grounded surroundings, you’re teaching yourself to remain in the here-and-now.

1. Weaken Symptoms of Depression

When depression leaves you lacking motivation, meditation might be the furthest thing from your mind. However, some people have found that meditation works as well as any antidepressant. By visualizing scenes, especially of you reaching attainable goals, it’s obvious to see how the symptoms of depression could lessen over time with regular meditation.

Meditation can help you set goals and work much like affirmations. By getting more in-tune with your inner self, you’ll start to realize what you need and desire. From there, you can begin working toward a life that will cultivate happiness, all while practicing gratitude for the one you currently live.

2. Increase Brain Size

Some research indicates that meditation could increase your brain size. You would then be able to develop your intelligence more efficiently and foster greater creativity within yourself. Whether this benefit is true for everyone might be up for debate, but having the chance to grow your knowledge and expand your thinking through meditation seems like a good opportunity.

3. Slow Cognitive Decline

Meditation and mindfulness, if practiced regularly, can help fight against degenerative diseases like Alzheimer’s. Older folks show greater brain activity and stimulation when meditating than without any other form of treatment. Keeping your brain sharp by allowing it to focus on the things that matter is key to staying young, in a sense.

Because the brain tends to dull a bit as you get older, it’s important to remain sharp as the years go by. Meditation is a great way to take account of your current mind and bodily functions. By consistently monitoring how you’re feeling and taking time to evaluate your current state, you’ll begin to notice earlier if anything starts to slip.

4. Improve Focus

Concentrating on meditation and living in the present improves your focus, as you can live more in the world around you rather than inside your own head. Meditation seeks to connect you with your body so you can sense what you need and how to better take care of yourself. By setting aside time to meditate and regulating your intentions for the day, you’ll be more prepared to achieve the day’s goals and fully experience everything around you.

5. Reduce Stress and Boost Mood

Most people practice meditation to decrease their stress and lessen their anxiety, which might be why it’s often attributed to younger generations, like college students. Regular meditation and staying mindful can transform your mindset from negative to positive and remind you to be grateful for every opportunity that comes your way. 

Feeling negative emotions is vital to the human experience, but so are looking for the bright side and learning how to regulate stress properly. If there were never a silver lining on any cloud, life would be gray instead of colorful. 

Meditating can help you discover the silver linings on some of your clouds, and the designated time to let your mind wander can help you brainstorm solutions to current problems without even trying.

Meditate and Manifest a Better Life

Meditation doesn’t take a lot of effort — you just have to be willing to set aside time in your busy day to reconnect with yourself. Sitting in silence might not be your go-to, but after a few instances of guided meditation, you may be ready to move on and lead your own mindfulness session.

Along with reducing stress and the risk of cognitive decline, you’ll find that meditation is also simply relaxing. While you might be fidgety at first, eventually, you’ll ease into the silence and feel more comfortable sitting alone with yourself and getting in-tune with your body and priorities. You could even manifest your best life and provide yourself with the motivation to make it happen.

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Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine. Mom and step mom living her best life while managing anxiety and normalizing blended families. She enjoys pilates, podcasts, and a nice pinot grigio. 

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* This article was originally published here

When You’re The Girl Who Feels Too Much

It’s difficult being the girl who feels “too much” in a world where logic trumps feelings. It’s a constant battle to either quiet your feelings or scare people away. We all do it, some more than others—we hide our hearts to protect them from shattering.

We feel “I love you,” but say “that’s great.” We stay cool, stay detached.

We feel “I miss you,” but text “I’ll let you know when I’m free.” We pretend not to care.

We feel “I need you,” but answer “doin’ good.” We pretend to be strong.

We think we’re being cool by perpetrating the falsehood that deep feelings are wrong. We’re part of the problem. We’re continuing the cycle of loneliness instead of forging a new path toward connection. We play into the idea of “cool,” but all it brings us is coldness.

I admire those who are unapologetically themselves. Those who hand out their hearts with every interaction, without fear there’ll eventually be nothing left. I aspire to be like them.

If you’re the girl who feels “too much,” I want you to know that your vulnerability is a gift. It does not make you weak. Don’t let them convince you that you’re too soft. It is okay to think with your heart. Admirable, even. Loving deep and being in tune with your emotions isn’t a fault. One of the most beautiful things about love is that you make your own rules—it’s not possible to do it wrong, as long as you’re doing it honestly.

You just need to find someone who’s in awe of your strong emotional capacity instead of burdened by it. And to find them, you have to keep putting yourself out there—showing the world the hidden treasures that are raw emotions.

* This article was originally published here

10 Ways To Be A Dramatically More Productive Leader

Much of what you read about leadership – and frankly what we teach leaders across the globe at TakingPoint Leadership – focuses on the fundamental pillars of leading people and teams within the organization. But what about the person behind the shield? How does personal development and wellness …

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What Is Microdosing, and How Can It Help Your Mental Health?

Learn about the practice of taking tiny amounts of drugs, known as microdosing. Dana Pharant, 50, a business performance coach in Ontario, Canada, has …

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How to Read More Books

GET AHEAD GET STRONG GET SOCIAL Brett & Kate McKay • September 19, 2021 With our archives now 3,500+ articles deep, we’ve decided to republish a classic …

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5 Tips to Deal with Negativity When Starting a Business

Starting a business feels good and comes with lots of excitement. But the challenging part is running it efficiently and being successful. You’ll have to cope with different struggles to ensure you achieve what you wanted with your business.

Among the obstacles you’ll encounter is negativity. It comes to a point where you question whether starting a business was the right choice. Would it have been better if you had chosen a different path?

Once you stop believing in yourself, it becomes hard to make progress in your new business. The good thing is that it’s possible to overcome a negative attitude towards your business and make it profitable. Here are the tips you need to deal with negativity when starting a business.

1. Avoid negative people

Hanging around negative people can affect how you think. If they’re always giving negative feedback about your ventures, you’ll start to believe them and lose your focus.

These are also the kind of people that will make your business appear uncredible. As you may know, others judge you by who you hang around with. If they’re naysayers and small-minded, high achievers like potential partners and investors won’t want anything to do with you.

If you want to be a successful entrepreneur, it helps to cut off negative people in your life. You have to know that it won’t be easy, especially if they’re people close to you. But if you’ve tried to get them to support you and failed, avoiding them is essential.

• Make friends with other entrepreneurs

It should be your goal to interact with like-minded individuals as much as possible. Surrounding yourself with positive people who are or have been where you are is essential for success.

So, find other entrepreneurs in a similar or related venture and befriend them. You’ll always be motivated to keep pushing and reach their level or even go beyond.

You don’t even have to do it in person. Because, what’s social media for? Look for Facebook groups and other forums online with lots of entrepreneur-related talks. Share what you have and gather new ideas from others.

Who knows, you may even learn how different business people handled negativity while starting out. There could also be several mentors out there willing to help you overcome any fears while doing business.

• Have a detailed business plan

Planning is essential when starting a business. In fact, you need a detailed business plan before launching your new business.

A business plan positions your company for growth. It prepares you for uncertainty and you’ll be better equipped to handle it.

Without a proper plan, business growth happens slower. It may take ages to see any profits from the business. The longer you wait, the more the likelihood of you giving up at the slightest occurrence of a negative thought.

If you want to earn a 6-figure income or any other amount from your business, you need a good plan. It should have details on where you want your company to be in the future and the steps to get there. That’s how you’ll keep on the right path regardless of what negative energy tries to hold you back.

• Don’t bring personal emotions into business

You may have had bad experiences in your personal life. If you carry the thoughts of it to work, making great business decisions becomes hard.

So, every time you step into your place of business, leave out any personal emotions you may have. Don’t let your mind convince you that since you failed in another area of life, you’ll also fail in business.

Also, make sure to always fix any issues you have that aren’t related to business. If they can’t be fixed, consider moving on as soon as possible. This way, your business is less likely to suffer because you’re still thinking about an unpleasant event you had out there.

• Get a positive outcome from negative thoughts

Because it can be quite challenging to fully avoid negativity, you could try and benefit from them. That’s by simply trying to get a positive image every time a negative thought crosses your mind.

Maybe you’re working late or during a weekend and are questioning whether such efforts will really pay off. After all, what’s stopping you from going to have some time with your friends? If you find yourself with such a thought, consider the potential fruits you’ll enjoy in the long run.

For instance, you could picture a highly profitable business that allows you to have your dream life. Maybe you’ve always wanted to fly around the world. Well, think of that as the final reward of you spending your weekends at work now.

Nothing is going to stop you if you learn to counter your negative thoughts this way. You’ll get to your business goals much faster.

Wrapping It up

Dealing with negativity is essential if you want to build a successful business. And with the listed tips in mind, you can reduce if not eliminate negative energy while working on your business.

As long as you acquire and maintain a positive mindset, you won’t have problems getting where you need to be. So, it’s high time you start practicing how to stay positive if you’ve been having doubts about yourself.

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Mike Stuzzi is an online entrepreneur and blogger who helps people around the world make extra money and manage their finances effectively. He has started a number of successful online businesses and intends to help his readers achieve the same. He believes there’s a lot anyone can learn about money and entrepreneurship. Check out his blog The Money Galileo for tips and resources to become money-minded, boost your income, and practice proper money management.

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* This article was originally published here

7 Thoughtful Ways to Unite Your Community

Having a sense of community and belonging wherever you are can be an extremely important part of life. Whether you’re moving to a new place, want to get involved in your hometown or you simply want to find a sense of belonging wherever you are, there are so many ways that you can unite your community and participate in the growth of your home. Whether you live in an urban metropolis or a small suburban town, uniting your community is a worthwhile effort, both for you and your family, as well as the community at large. Here are a few thoughtful ways that you can get involved.

1.   Participate In School Activities

If you have a child that’s currently school-aged, one of the best ways to get involved in your community is participating in school programs and activities. Even if your child is a little older, volunteering for after-school programs, the Parent-Teacher Association and even education assistance if you have the resources to do so can be extremely helpful to the community — especially because children are the future, and building a strong community begins with them.

2.   Go to the Library

The library is another community space with so many resources and places to connect, so it’s no wonder why communities flourish with the help of a robust library. Whether you have kids or you want to get involved on your own, libraries offer all kinds of programs like storytime sessions for kids, book clubs, language learning societies, volunteer opportunities and even resource-finding programs for underserved populations. If you want to help unite your community wherever you are, think about hitting the books.

3.   Going to the Playground

Playgrounds are another great place to bring your community together. Playgrounds have so many benefits for all different kinds of families, it’s no wonder why they contribute so heavily to healthy, thriving communities. Not only does going to the playground offer individual family bonding, but it also promotes physical wellness, promotes economic growth within the community, offers spaces to connect and, of course, provides a space for the kids to play. Seems like an all-around great deal.

4.   Start a Community Garden

If your community already has a community garden, it can be fantastic to get involved in whatever they’re growing over there. However, if your community doesn’t have one yet, this can be your opportunity to get one started! Community gardening doesn’t just bring people together — it does so much more than that! When you grow food with the members of your community, you’re promoting health and wellness, outdoor time, community connection — plus, providing fresh food to the members of your community. Of course, getting a community garden started can be a bit of a challenge, especially if you’re new to gardening, but it’s important to try new things and get involved however you can.

5.   Volunteer

Although this method of uniting your community is a bit more general, it’s definitely one of the most important things to consider. There are so many volunteer opportunities in nearly any community — from animal shelters to after-school programs, and everything in between. Think about what kinds of organizations you’re passionate about — your community likely has one or more of them, and most places are always on the lookout for a helping hand or two. See where your community needs you most and step up accordingly. You may find a true vocation for helping others along the way.

6.   Clean Up Your Neighborhood

If volunteering for any one organization is a bit too much for your schedule at the moment, that doesn’t mean you can’t lend a hand in your community or neighborhood. In fact, some of the best work in uniting any community is done by thoughtful residents simply looking out for one another. And one of the best ways to get involved in your neighborhood is to do a little community clean-up. Of course, you can start by cleaning your own space, lawn and home, but you can extend that to the rest of your neighborhood, too. Start small — picking up trash, tidying public spaces and other small acts like that. Then, you can extend it further as you feel comfortable.

7.   Be Neighborly

One of the most important ways that you can participate in your local community and bring people together is to simply be neighborly and friendly with those around you. Get to know the people in your neighborhood. Host events and invite people around. Make conversation with the people you see out and about. Say hello to those around you. All of those small acts can contribute to a neighborly environment around you and bind your community together.

Thoughtfully Bringing Community Together

Whether you’re involved in your community already, you’re new in town or you’ve had a spark of inspiration to bring a bit more neighborly spirit into your community, there are so many thoughtful ways to approach it. By volunteering, getting involved and showing up for your neighborhood in all the spaces it has to offer, you can connect with those around you and better your community every day.

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Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine. Mom and step mom living her best life while managing anxiety and normalizing blended families. She enjoys pilates, podcasts, and a nice pinot grigio. 

The post 7 Thoughtful Ways to Unite Your Community appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

* This article was originally published here

How to be Seen as More Trustworthy

You know several people you trust and several that you do not. Have you ever considered how you came to those decisions? You probably never gave it a lot of thought about how you designated someone as trustworthy or not. Have you ever considered how others view you? Do you think most people consider you […]

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* This article was originally published here

10 Tips for Dealing With Anxiety Without Medication

Some people do need to treat their anxiety with medication. But there are also other ways of dealing with anxiety that can be effective for many people. Almost everyone has some anxiety, but few of us are actively doing anything to relieve our anxiety. Learn how you can easily do things to help you avoid […]

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2021 Comerica Bank Women’s Business Symposium!

Celebrate Your Potential! 2021 Comerica Bank Women’s Business Symposium!Thursday, October 21 The Comerica Bank Women’s Business Symposium is back by …

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Council Post: Denying Vs. Accepting: Open Up To Acceptance To Free Yourself From Denial

Emotional Intelligence (EI) Executive Coach at InLight Coaching. Let EI enhance your career and relationships with EQi-2/360® Assessments! Denial is refusing to believe that something is true, valid or appropriate. Therefore, it’s not only possible to deny a thing, but also to deny oneself, i.e., to …

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Easy Ways for Introverts to be More Social

Everyone is on a different point of the introvert/extrovert continuum. Highly extroverted people can seemingly barely survive without social interaction, while very introverted folks can happily go for a week without uttering a word to another soul. However, many introverts would like to have more social interactions, but don’t know how to make that happen. […]

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* This article was originally published here

You Contain Multitudes

There is an art to feeling your emotions. It’s important to separate your emotions from your identity—who you are—by saying, “A part of me feels sad” vs. “I’m sad.” “A part of me feels angry” vs. “I am angry.”           

We usually hold multiple parts of ourselves at the same time.   

For instance, “A part of me feels scared and a part of me feels excited. A part of me feels brave and a part of me feels alive!” This is personally one of my favorite combinations of emotions. It means I’m about to do something that’s going to allow me to grow beyond the person I thought I was in the best possible way. It means I’m about to push through contraction into another level of expansion! If it’s been a while since I’ve felt this combination, then I know it’s time to switch things up and find a new, inspiring challenge. Remember, inspiring challenges stretch and grow you in the direction of what matters most to you. Can you connect your challenges back to your values and mission? No matter what, you’ll face challenges in life, so you may as well choose inspiring ones, which allow you to be ener- gized by what you do.       

Here are more examples:           

“A part of me feels disappointed and a part of me is grateful that you told me.”       

“A part of me feels guilty and a part of me knows that I was doing the very best I knew how at the time.”           

“A part of me feels angry, a part of me feels sad, and a part of me feels scared.”        “A part of me is happy for you and a part of me is worried.”                     “A part of me is excited and a part of me is nervous.”               

The first step is to acknowledge these parts. You are large. You contain multitudes! The more expanded you are, the more you can hold all these seemingly contradictory parts. You are multidimen- sional, unlike the 94.7 radio station. Empathy starts with your ability to acknowledge your own parts.   

The key to expansion is learning to fully accept all these parts: the parts that are scared, the parts that are brave, the parts you celebrate, the parts you hide, the parts that follow through, the parts that don’t, the parts that are angry, the parts that are joyful, the parts that are sad, the parts that play small, the parts that play big—all your parts. Notice what parts you’ve made good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, what parts hold shame vs. blame. Integrate all of your parts.           

Once you stop showing yourself conditional acceptance and relax the “I have to _____ or else I’ll judge myself as _______,” and instead operate from “I am enough as is,” watch how much faster you can move, and the greater impact you can make. Say to yourself, “If you don’t make this happen, I still accept/love/value you.” “Even if you don’t succeed at _______, you’ll be okay.” Watch how much more successful you’ll be when you come from here. Once you see your- self as worthy and whole without your achievements, you’ll become unstoppable. You’ll be going after all your dreams from expansion with supernatural abilities and access to infinite possibilities and probabilities. Only you can give yourself this freedom, not a parent, partner, mentor, lover, or friend. As you accept your feelings of contraction, they dissolve. Only you can set yourself free.

Jing Gao, founder of Fly by Jing Inc., discovered this when she joined a group leadership program I held during the first COVID quarantine. At that time, she called herself Jenny, the name she had gone by for over 25 years. At the start of her journey, she identified places of contraction and began feeling her emotions: her grief, her anger, her fear, all of it. On our first call, I took her through a process of feeling the raw energy behind these emotions—the sensations in her body—tracking and releasing contraction to relax her nervous system. She noticed tightness in her chest and then she realized she didn’t feel safe in her body. Tears came. She felt disconnected from herself as if she had been hiding behind a shield. The emotions she experienced were scared, confused, and sad. She was used to repressing these scared, confused, sad parts of herself. Emotion by emotion, sensation by sensation, she felt everything that arose fully, until the contraction dissipated.               

With her nervous system unraveled and expanded, she was struck with this insight: “I have been hiding behind Jenny to fit in my whole life when the real me, Jing, feels too raw and real.” In that moment, she decided to reclaim her name. When she hung up the phone, she changed her name with her friends, across all her social media channels, email, everywhere. During the quarantine, she hit record sales. In April, she increased revenue 360 percent over March and by November 2020 her company had grown 1,000 percent over the previous year. Jing made a quantum leap the moment she released the bound-up energy pattern held in hiding behind Jenny all those years. She turned lead into gold the moment she released contrac- tion by fully feeling it.           

What is a current situation or circumstance you’d like to change in your life? What do you believe to be true about yourself and what belief system do you have in place that’s creating this circumstance? What are you doing, saying or not doing or not saying that is perpetuating this situation? Nothing is happening to you. Let yourself feel what this circumstance stirs up. After feeling it fully, what is the insight? In what direction is this experience asking you to grow?           

Your external reality is a direct reflection of your internal state: thoughts, emotions, beliefs, your sense of identity, and your world- view. Once you shift your internal state, everything around you will transform to match. What does your external world show is going on for you internally? If you don’t like your external reality, feel the contraction completely so you can move through it into expansion and watch how everything that lights you up multiplies.

Excerpt from Bending Reality: How to Make the Impossible Probable by Victoria Song. Copyright © 2021. Reprinted with permission.     

Victoria Song is the Leadership Advisor to successful founders and CEOs of the world’s fastest growing technology companies and celebrities with power, platform and influence. She is the author of Bending Reality: How to Make the Impossible Probable. For more information, please visit, www.victoriasong.me.

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