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You're reading Feeling Overwhelmed? Self-help author Paul Boynton says, “Join the Club!”, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
As founder of the BEGIN WITH YES Facebook community with over two million followers and the author of several motivational books including my newest book, BE AMAZING, people automatically assume I have everything well under control. After all, I’m the expert! There’s no way I could ever feel overwhelmed, or ‘stuck’ or even the slightest bit stressed or off-kilter. I must meet my personal goals with ease and my dreams materialize with little or no effort. Understandably, people who are struggling mightily would welcome any and all easy answers from the motivational gurus of the universe who promise to lay out the roadmap to easily overcome life’s most challenging hurdles.
If that’s what you’re looking for in a mentor or self-help soldier, I hate to break it to you. That’s certainly not my life and it’s definitely not my day-to-day reality. Sure, if I had that magic bullet that would solve all the world’s problems, it would definitely help my book sales! But it just wouldn’t be the truth and let’s face it - that’s no help to either one of us. That being said, because I know what ‘overwhelming’ feels like and because it’s been a part of my life for as long as I can remember, I have learned some fairly easy strategies to get beyond it that I believe will work for you too.
So, first of all, join the club. You’re in good company! Acknowledging that things are on pause for you is a great place to begin the process of getting unstuck. The pause actually tells us that you have places you want to go and things you want to accomplish and I, for one, think that’s very good news.
And with that good news, let me share a few easy suggestions that will help and some attainable steps you can take to get the train running and back on-track again.
yourself some slack, and stop trying to push your way through it! Let it ebb and flow all
on its own.
Feeling overwhelmed is just like an emotional traffic jam. But with the right strategies in place, you’ll be able to implement some simple traffic controls and rewire your GPS to help you move forward in a logical, reasonable and manageable way.
Take it easy, be gentle with yourself, take plenty of breaths and don’t presume you’ll be able to learn that new language in a single day. Instead celebrate learning a new phrase or two, and then get started on that cake!
Paul S. Boynton is the author of several books including Amazon bestseller Begin with Yes, around which he has built an extraordinarily engaged audience of over two million followers. A true force of nature and popular keynote speaker, Paul is also President and CEO of The Moore Center, an organization serving people with intellectual disabilities. His writing has frequently been featured in the Huffington Post, the NH Business Review and The Good Men's Project. Paul has degrees in both social work and counseling. He lives with his partner, and their dog Toby in New Hampshire, and spends much of his free time visiting his three adult children and their families. Paul’s latest book, Be Amazing, is available online at Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble.com, and IndieBound.org.
You've read Feeling Overwhelmed? Self-help author Paul Boynton says, “Join the Club!”, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
To all the soft souls out there, I see you. I know it hasn’t been easy, because you think so much and feel so much. Your big, big heart always breaks faster than it heals. You think your guard is high but it never seems to be high enough.
You don’t understand why you have to be so complicated, so sensitive, so emotional. You wish you could be simpler, or perhaps exceptional in some obvious, superficial kind of way so people would overlook all the other ways you’re not so easy to love.
It’s rare for you to come anywhere close to love. But you can get attached rather easily, often to those who are not right for you, not ready for you, or not even enough for you. Your racing mind convinces you you’re the problem anyway. And so you suffer while others quickly move past you.
You beat yourself up for taking so long to move on, for trusting the wrong people, for having so much emotional need that it ruins your life. What you don’t realize is that it’s not an ordinary thing to be you. The very thing you believe to be faulty is the powerful gift you’ve got right where you are.
To be you, it takes courage, resilience, and endless strength. To be you, it takes a lot more reflection, understanding, and patience than being most others. So you’ve done really well.
Remember that not everyone thinks and cares as much as you do, not everyone loves as fiercely as you do, not everyone experiences life to the same intensity and meaningfulness as you do, not everyone takes pain as deeply and profoundly as you do, and yet you’re still here, loving, hoping, giving. How do you even do that?
You’re not meant for everyone, and you’re definitely not meant to please everyone. You’re here for all the people who need your softness, all the people who radiate the same kind of compassionate, loving energy you have, all the people who rely on your insight and wisdom to deal with their own mental complexity and all the chaotic emotions they don’t want to feel but have to feel anyway, just like you do. You’re here for the people who see you and your light.
In this materialistic world, it’s not obvious why being you is beautiful and powerful, but you can’t forget that it is.
To all the soft souls out there, it’s time to accept yourself for all the ways you are and you are not, for all your needs, no matter how big or small.
You can build a strong exterior to prevent yourself from getting hurt, but you will keep getting hurt if you don’t accept that you’re a soft, emotional, gentle being, and such a being can’t fit with just anyone. Such a being needs similarly strong, thoughtful, resilient people who have been through enough ups and downs to be able to appreciate your humane depth.
I know it’s disheartening to rarely come anywhere close to love, but connections are supposed to be rare. And for how rare it is, when you find it, it’ll be worth every effort.
Why are you settling? Why are you wasting time asking for love from the people who will never be able to meet your needs even if they want to? What are you shrinking yourself for? Be large. Be larger. Be you. You can never be anyone else as good as being yourself anyway, so stop denying your own gifts and start living authentically now.
Soft soul, I know the world seems to be a cold and lonely place sometimes, and you can feel so lost, but please have hope and faith in yourself, in your magical softness, especially when you’re in the dark. Don’t stop. Keep walking. Being you is always your best bet, and soon enough things will fall into their places when you keep showing up and putting in the work.
The hurt you’re carrying with you now might be overwhelming and devastating, but in times as you look back, you will understand why it has to happen. You will realize you’re exactly where you’re meant to be. You experience exactly what you’re meant to experience so you can tend to all your rough edges and grow into the person you’ve always envisioned yourself to be.
Don’t be scared. Stay strong.
Listen carefully to your wounds, all the open ones—they’re guiding you. Follow your softness—it will lead you to the right places and people, I promise.
You're reading 11 Soothing Habits to Chill Out Your Kids, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you're enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
Kids are whirlwinds of energy, but even little ones need downtime. Plus, children aren't immune to anxiety disorders. Today's driven lifestyles with schedules chock-full of structured activities can leave tiny minds frazzled.
How can you help your child to relax? It's critical to teach them to self-soothe so that they develop healthy coping mechanisms as adults. As a parent, failing to teach your kids healthy ways to chill out can lead to behavioral issues and even addiction down the road. Instead, try these activities to help them calm down.
If you're a Type A personality yourself, you may think you're doing your child a favor by encouraging them to remain on the go always. You might even pat yourself on the back when they tumble into bed exhausted at day's end. However, you could set them up for a lifetime of health woes. People with this assertive, driven personality type run a higher risk of heart disease than more sedate Type Bs.
Start rewarding downtime by engaging in some yourself. Establish a rule to turn off all devices and put homework away at least 30 minutes before bed. Use this time to draw, read stories or participate in other quiet activities. Celebrate this quiet time as something to look forward to each day.
You might know that weighted "thunder vests" can comfort your puppy during noisy storms. However, did you realize the same principle applies to your children? A weighted blanket creates deep sensory pressure on joints and muscles. The pressure can stimulate the release of serotonin, a neurotransmitter that increases positive feelings. It's like giving them a full-body hug when they're too old to sleep with you.
Children can grow overwhelmed when they reach school age. Suddenly, they need to keep track of multiple assignments and deadlines. It's a lot for little minds to handle, and if your child has perfectionist tendencies, they may stress over how to keep it all straight. Get them a planner and practice writing in it together. Each evening, help them to get their backpack prepared for the next school day.
Sometimes, younger children may struggle to communicate what is bothering them. You can use dolls or puppets to have them act out what's weighing on their minds. Let them reenact the events that caused their stress, and brainstorm ways that the "characters" can solve their problem.
You know as an adult that sometimes it's better to walk away from a stressful situation than to escalate a conflict. Model this method of emotional regulation with your children. If your child threatens to meltdown, go for a walk around the block or to the local park. The physical exercise and outdoor air will eventually soothe them.
6. Listen to Music
As the cliché goes, music soothes the savage beast — and it can do the same for your little one. Put on your child's favorite music and invite them to dance around the living room with you. You can even find kid-friendly dance videos on YouTube, often for free.
7. Dial Back the Schedule
If your child has soccer on Monday, piano on Tuesday and art club on Wednesday, is it any wonder that they're exhausted? While it's understandable that you want to keep your child supervised, kids need unstructured play to develop both mentally and emotionally. Plus, you risk making them feel like they have no say or control over their lives when you structure every moment of their day. Allow time in your child's schedule to simply be.
8. Read a Book
Reading benefits your child's brain development, but it's also a potent self-soothing behavior. When your little one loses themselves in a story, they forget about their worries for a while. Encourage your child to read by taking them to the library and letting them select books that interest them. You can also suggest reads that reinforce healthy coping behaviors.
9. Draw a Picture
Drawing and coloring can calm you down, and it can do the same for your children. If you've both had a stressful day, why not break out a stack of coloring books and a box of crayons? Sit down at your kitchen table, set a timer and color for 20-30 minutes. If your child prefers to draw, let them. Otherwise, the repetitive motion of coloring could inspire your little one to open up and discuss what's on their mind.
10. Stretch Little Bodies
Did you know that not only is yoga safe for children, but it's also beneficial for developing bodies? When you present it in an age-appropriate way, it helps to counter the stress experienced in our hurry-up world. Using phrases like "stretch like a cat" engages their imagination and gets their bodies moving.
11. Practice Guided Meditation
Children can benefit from meditation as much as adults. When 12 Thai boys became trapped in a cave with their football coach for 17 days, they survived the isolating darkness by using the practice. If you're not sure where to start, consider taking an online class or signing up for one at your community recreation center. Some schools now use yoga and meditation instead of detention to modify the behavior of unruly students.
Jennifer Landis is a mom, wife, passionate freelance writer, and the blogger behind Mindfulness Mama. Follow her on Twitter @JenniferELandis.
You've read 11 Soothing Habits to Chill Out Your Kids, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you've enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.
