Schools could improve behaviour by keeping them in lunch 'bubbles'

Schools should consider keeping children in lunch ‘bubbles’ this term to improve their behaviour, Gavin Williamson has suggested. The Education …

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Mindfulness Can Help Us Overcome Our Deepest Fears

Mindfulness is all the rage for multiple reasons. This practice helps you halt future fears and ruminations about an immutable past and live in the present moment. That isn’t the only benefit you can reap, however.

Mindfulness allows you to capture what neurologist and Holocaust survivor Victor Frankl describes as freedom — the pause between an external stimulus and your reaction to it. Here’s how you can use this practice to help you overcome your deepest fears.

1. It Helps With Health Procedures

Do you feel nervous before you go to the dentist? If so, you aren’t alone. Approximately a third of the population gets nervous before getting in the dental chair, some so much so that they repeatedly skip appointments. This phobia can increase their risk of developing other health disorders, and mindfulness is one technique for overcoming it.

Please speak up if you have anxiety before undergoing medical procedures such as vaccination if you fear needles. Your provider can coach you in mindfulness techniques such as applied tension, which can help you avoid fainting by raising your blood pressure before you get your shot.

You can also use mindfulness to soothe your fears before you arrive at your provider’s office. Spend some time in meditation reflecting on all the past medical procedures you’ve undergone — remind yourself you have a 100% running survival rate. Practice using deep breathing to calm physiological responses to stress like a racing heart and sweaty palms before you enter the waiting room.

2. It Calms Workplace Anxiety

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), money is the number one cause of stress, and most people get their income from work. Ironically, anxiety in the workplace can lead to negative reactions and unwise decision-making, increasing your chances of getting a pink slip and experiencing financial insecurity.

Fortunately, you can practice many mindfulness techniques at work without your colleagues noticing what you’re doing. It’s always best to practice your coping skills before you have to call on them in a pinch. Please get in the habit of doing one of the following activities each day so that it’s natural to turn to it before you speak at the big budget meeting:

• Walking break: Instead of heading to the snack machine or smoker’s bench, take a walk around the block if the weather is nice or inside your building if it’s rainy. Concentrate on the feeling of your feet hitting the earth and the sensation of the air against your skin as you move.
• Eat a raisin: However, before you pop it in your mouth, take time to explore the look and texture. Once you place it on your tongue, take time to savor the flavor and the sensation of chewing.
• Body scan: Starting at your toes, work your way up your body and breathe healing energy into each part. Spend extra time with any regions that feel tense or tight.

3. It Can Avert Unnecessary Relationship Drama

How many times have you said something that you don’t mean in the heat of an argument with your significant other (SO)? Mindfulness can help quell relationship drama by making you reflect on what you say before you say it. It also allows you to determine what issues are worth debating and what you should let slide to keep the peace.

Before responding to something your partner does, pause, take a deep breath and consider how you would feel if they made a similar statement to you. If you would feel hurt, find a kinder way to voice your concerns. “You never take the trash out,” is a sure recipe for a resentment-fueled fight, whereas “Love, could you run the garbage to the bin, please,” has a better chance of resulting in a peaceful and agreeable outcome.

4. It’s a Lifesaver in Emergency Situations

You’ve heard the saying “calm under pressure.” Mindfulness can help you master this elusive quality.

It’s natural to panic when a fire breaks out or your child injures themselves. You don’t have time to meditate, but practicing deep breathing can help calm your physiological reactions enough to let you react appropriately.

Get in the habit of using 2-to-1 breathing whenever you notice tension throughout the day so that you naturally resort to this coping mechanism when your blood pressure begins rising. Elongating your exhales activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which works to mitigate the effects of adrenaline.

5. It Can Help Answer the Big Questions

Ultimately, what humans fear most is ceasing to be. We are unique among the animal kingdom in having advanced knowledge of our deaths. While this prescience helps us prevent disease and injury, it can lead to paralyzing fears about our ultimate end.

Mindfulness can help you find inner peace with the transient nature of life. You might develop an unshakable spiritual belief system fueled by wisdom arising from deep within your soul. Conversely, you might make peace with the idea that this life is all there is and decide to make the most of it. By coming to terms with the reality of the limited human lifespan, you can spend more of it living and less of it worrying about the inevitable.

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Kara Reynolds is the Editor-in-Chief and founder of Momish Magazine. Mom and step mom living her best life while managing anxiety and normalizing blended families. She enjoys pilates, podcasts, and a nice pinot grigio. 

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What Will You Do If You Lose Your Sense of Smell?

If you’re like many adults, you’ve probably imagined what it would be like to be blind, but we tend to take our noses for granted. You might be surprised to learn how much your life could change if you have anosmia. Anosmia is the medical term for loss of smell. It’s becoming more of an […]

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Stop Moving the Goalposts: Do You Recognize Your Own Success?

Here's what you can learn from author Og Mandino's self-help books. I am a firm believer in personal development. Regardless of the cards that life deals you, it’s really how you play them that determines your level of success. In my journey, I have found many personal development books to be really …

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Top 10 Must-Have Communication Skills for Life and Work

Communication skills are a better predictor of success than intelligence. Most of us have jobs that require communicating with others, whether it’s verbal or written. Your boss, coworkers, and clients are all subjected to your communication skills. We all have to communicate with the people in our lives. Our partner, friends, family, and neighbors are […]

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Why Some People Get Mad When You Start Loving Yourself More

Some people get mad when you start loving yourself more because now you say no a lot more than yes. Now you use your voice and say things they’re not used to hearing from you. Now you know your worth and you don’t settle for the bits and pieces you used to settle for when you were still healing and figuring yourself out. Now you’re more aware of who wants to take advantage of you and who is lying and who is trying to trick you. Now you protect yourself even if it means letting others down.

Some people get mad because they miss the old version of you. The one they liked and got used to. The one they could easily manipulate because they knew that you would always be there, you would always put their needs above your own and they knew that you would always choose them over yourself. Now you keep choosing yourself and putting yourself first and it’s not serving them anymore. Now you don’t care if they abandon you or leave you or stop hanging out with you because you’re finally loving your own company and realizing that you’re perfectly fine without some people’s love and approval. Now you’re focusing on yourself and making things happen and it’s pissing some people off.

And it’s not always out of ill will or bad intentions but that one friend liked it when you would accommodate them whenever they needed you at their convenience and you never said a word. That ex liked the fact you were still hung up on them even after all the hurt they’ve caused you. That one boss liked it when they would belittle you so they could take all the credit because they knew you wouldn’t complain. That one family member liked it when they would blame you for all their failures and clear themselves from all their wrongdoings. It’s simple, people don’t like it when you see through their lies and manipulations. People don’t like it when you used to let things go but now you speak up. People don’t like it when you used to make them feel good about themselves but now you call them out and people don’t like it when you treat them the same way they treat you.

Some people get mad when you start loving yourself more because it means that you will no longer let things slide or be available to their disrespect or tolerate their behavior, and these are the exact people who made you question your self-worth and made you feel like you don’t deserve more. They would always pull you back in their web whenever you tried to break free but nothing feels better than releasing yourself from this web and from their judgments. Nothing feels better than betting on yourself and winning. Nothing feels better than looking these people in the eye and they no longer get to you, they no longer intimidate you, they no longer have a soft spot, and they’re no longer on a pedestal. Nothing feels better than putting people back in their place and putting yourself first instead.

* This article was originally published here

The Advantages of Becoming More Open-Minded

The world becomes more interesting and far vaster when you’re open-minded. However, it can be challenging to keep an open mind. We all have our beliefs, values, preferences, and prejudices that blind us to the truth and to new experiences. Our view of the world is tainted in ways we don’t even recognize. It’s a […]

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12 Practical Ways to Develop More Social Support

It’s easier to cope with life’s challenges when you feel loved and appreciated. Even when things are going your way, your happiness is increased by sharing it with family and friends. In fact, social ties may be even more important than you think. Many studies show that interpersonal relationships can enhance your mental and physical […]

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11 Lessons the Elderly Can Teach Us

Elderly folks have a perspective that is hard to duplicate regardless of how much thought you put into it. They’ve lived a long time and have learned a thing or two that only experience can teach. While jumping ahead to the end of a good book might spoil the story, getting a few tips from […]

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New Help for Tinnitus

Have you ever heard ringing in your ears after attending a loud concert or fireworks display? If so, you’ve experienced a temporary form of chronic tinnitus that affects as many as 60 million Americans. Now, scientists may have accidentally discovered new interventions that could help. While studying deep brain stimulation, researchers at the University of […]

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Go Somewhere That Inspires You

Go somewhere that reminds you of your biggest dreams, the ones that brightened your young eyes, filled your heart to the brim with passion and excitement. Remember those dreams? The ones that you kept tucked away from the world while you were trying to be what others wanted you to be? Oh, how the world seemed like such a grand place where you could do anything! Pick up the paintbrush, the guitar, the pen and notebook, and go to a place that makes you forget how old you are because it brings all the color and life back into your soul.

Go to a place where the language sounds like honey, smooth and sweet, and let it drip from your lips, as you lean in for a kiss from your lover in the middle of the street. Let everyone see the kind of love that makes you feel like a teenager again. The kind of love that makes time stop, where all wounds are healed from one touch, where there is no past nor future, only the embrace of the present, your heart ascending into the soul of the world. Run away to that place, baby. Together, you can do anything. Let love lead the way.

Go to a place where people take their time — where you taste velvet with every sip of your cappuccino that you drink from a little ceramic mug at a café on the side of the road as you watch people pass by, wondering what their story is. A moment in time when you stop and think about what your story is, realizing this is a snapshot of yours. Go to a place where an afternoon is spent at the park, sitting underneath a perched little tree, with a book and no phone, a place where there is space in the air filled only by the birds, a place where people walk, not run, because every moment is beautiful, so why rush your life? We’re told worthiness comes from how productively you fill up minute-by-minute slots in your calendar, yet we rarely hear about how our hearts fill up when we watch the joy in a new dad’s eyes as he plays with his daughter on the grass nearby, his whole world in his hands. Free up your schedule, you have nowhere to be. The only time is now.

Go to a place where you can hear music around every corner, live music played passionately by artists wearing their heart on their sleeves, the hours of patient practice streaming into their calloused fingertips. Let yourself feel that music in your bones. Let yourself fall in love with the rhythm of hope and maybe dance along the way, inspiring others with your freedom, showing them how you broke free of the chains that once held you. Go to a place where the walls are painted with visions of paradise, masterpieces of creativity; somewhere where people draw and color and pierce their bodies because what is life without art, without expression of your place in this world? Go somewhere filled with play and the sounds of laughter, groups of friends who love each other, despite how different they might seem, because the hearts connect us all. Find the courage to say hello and learn something new, knowing that all of you is welcomed.

Go somewhere that inspires you. Somewhere your senses are heightened, where food tastes better because it’s more than just fuel, somewhere there is history in the cobblestone steps that lead you to a place in time where those who came before you left their mark for a better future, left something for you. Go somewhere the sunrise of a new day fills you with hope, because who knows what could happen next? Let yourself be open to the possibilities that lie in uncertainty and adventure. Follow where it takes you, with no end goal, and document every moment along the way. I promise you will find beauty in this journey.

* This article was originally published here

Protein and Brain Health: What to Know

Did you know that your brain is made mostly of water and fatty acids? It requires a steady stream of glucose for optimal function and energy, and it burns through a large amount of glucose on a daily basis. Although it prefers glucose over other fuels, it can run on short fat compounds when necessary.

Interestingly, there is very little protein found within the brain. That probably leaves you wondering, “Does the brain need protein at all?” Well, it turns out that although protein doesn’t make up much of your brain’s structure, it is extremely important to how your brain functions.

In fact, the neurons in your brain actually use protein to communicate. Amino acids, which are the building blocks of protein, are also used to make neurotransmitters that help the brain do its job of keeping other organs in the body function properly.

That means protein is essential for optimal brain health and function. What’s more, a protein deficiency can affect all of your other organs indirectly through poor brain function. Here’s what you need to know about how protein affects brain health plus how you can optimize your diet for improved brain function.

Protein May Protect the Brain Against Age-Related Cognitive Decline

Eating a high-protein diet reduces the amount of amyloid-beta in your body, which is a precursor to Alzheimer’s disease. In this study of over five hundred seniors, those who consumed 120 grams of protein daily had lower levels of amyloid-beta than those whose daily intake was only fifty-four grams.

But that’s not all. Another study of 920 seniors showed that those who follow a high-protein diet, along with plenty of leafy greens and healthy fats, also had a decreased risk of dementia and improved cognitive function.

Unfortunately, it’s not entirely clear how protein influences the level of amyloid-beta in the brain. Some believe it’s the effects of a high-protein diet for lowering blood pressure and improving heart health. In general, what’s good for your heart is also good for your brain.

Another theory is that consuming a diet that’s high in protein is great for controlling weight. Protein helps you feel full, which means you’re less likely to eat inflammatory sugar and refined carbohydrates. Maintaining a healthy weight and reducing inflammation are both essential for overall health, especially heart and brain health.

Although this seems like a lot of protein to consume in a day, if you focus on including some healthy protein in all of your meals and snacks throughout the day, you shouldn’t have any trouble getting enough protein to support a healthy brain.

Protein Promotes Healthy Brain Development in Babies and Toddlers

It turns out that protein is just as important for babies and toddlers as it is for seniors. During gestation and the first three years of life, protein is vital for early brain development. Although neurons are mostly fueled by glucose and made of fat, they need protein to communicate with each other and control numerous body processes that are crucial for growth and development.

Protein also makes up the hormones, neurotransmitters, and enzymes that the brain uses to accomplish numerous essential tasks in other parts of the body. Lack of protein in these early stages of development can result in a smaller brain with fewer neurons and neurotransmitters, as well as lower DNA and RNA content.

Mood, Appetite, and Energy Levels are Impacted by Protein Intake

It may surprise you to hear that what you eat not only affects your brain’s overall function, but also your moods and emotions. Protein deficiencies can actually reduce cognitive function because lack of protein depletes the chemicals in your brain that control your energy levels, moods, and appetite.

In fact, a lack of protein in the diet may contribute to some types of autism, ADHD, epilepsy, depression, anxiety, and other mood disorders. And it doesn’t end there!

Have you ever noticed that a heavy meal that’s full of carbohydrates leaves you feeling tired and sluggish? That’s because it promotes the production of tryptophan in the brain. Tryptophan is a neurotransmitter that increases serotonin levels, which promotes feelings of calmness and sleepiness.

On the other hand, choosing a protein-rich meal can leave you full of energy and feeling alert because it triggers an increase in the amino acid tyrosine. Tyrosine is used to create dopamine and norepinephrine, two neurotransmitters that promote energy and alertness.

Too much alcohol, sugar, processed carbohydrates, and caffeine can also affect the production of these neurotransmitters. In other words, you can’t correct an unhealthy diet and lifestyle simply by eating more protein. 

Protein Affects Hormone Production

Although some hormones are made from fats, many are made of protein. Hormones communicate much like neurotransmitters, just a little slower. They’re incredibly important for reproductive health, thyroid health, liver health, brain health, and much more.

The essential amino acids found in high-quality protein can’t be manufactured by the body. That means we need to consume them through the diet to maintain proper hormone balance.

Protein Affects the Ability of Enzymes to Function Properly

Protein has the ability to shape, bend, and twist itself into the structures that form enzymes. These industrious little enzymes are crucial for a healthy brain. Inside your brain, enzymes are busy breaking down plaque, helping to create neurotransmitters, and more.

How to Optimize Your Diet for Good Brain Health

We all know that protein comes from animal products, but it may surprise you to hear that there are other fantastic protein sources to include in a healthy diet. In fact, animal protein is often high in fat and harder to digest than plant proteins. Opting to include some plant proteins also provides valuable enzymes and other nutrients that support brain health.

Plant-based protein bars, powders, and soy protein meal replacement drinks are all great for getting more healthy plant proteins into your diet without adding unnecessary calories. Nuts, seeds, and legumes are rich in protein, and they contain healthy fats that are also essential for brain health. Even leafy green vegetables can provide a decent amount of protein, as well as other vital nutrients for brain health.

When you consume carbs, opt for complex carbohydrates because they often provide some protein, as well as other valuable nutrients, without the dramatic blood sugar spike that comes from eating refined carbohydrates and sugar. Complex carbs can be found in starchy vegetables and whole grains.

Wrapping Things Up

When choosing a healthy diet, variety is the key to ensuring that you’re getting all of the nutrients your body needs. It’s no different when it comes to protein. Your brain needs a variety of different amino acids to create neurotransmitters, enzymes, hormones, and connective tissue.

Different types of protein contain different amino acids in varying amounts. What’s more, your body can’t store protein in the way it does fat. Although protein does circulate in your bloodstream for a few days, it must be replenished daily to keep the supply where it needs to be.

Throughout the week, be sure to mix up your protein sources so that your brain can pick and choose which amino acids it needs for certain tasks. Remember, your brain is an amazing machine that knows how to take care of itself, but you have to provide it with the right raw materials.

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Academic resources for App State students

Student Learning CenterThe Disco Student Learning Center offers a variety of resources to help students thrive in their academic and personal …

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9 Things You Can Do Instead of Giving Up

One of the most important rules regarding success is that you can’t give up easily. There are always obstacles to overcome, and if you give up too soon, you’ll never get anywhere. Think about the least and most successful people you know. The successful people you know are probably very perseverant. They give up on […]

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How we cover education and personal development products at Insider Reviews

When you buy through our links, Insider may earn an affiliate commission. Learn more. A relatively new section of Insider Reviews, the Education and Personal Development vertical began covering online courses in spring 2020 and has since branched out to review online programs, books, apps, and even …

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How to update your résumé so it shows what you learned during the pandemic

Whether you’ve taken on additional caregiving responsibilities or expanded your EQ, you should make sure your résumé showcases your full skill set. The COVID-19 pandemic has brought about a renewed interest in the people behind the résumés. This is largely due to the fact that employers are focused …

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There’s Nothing Wrong With Being A Little Bougie Sometimes

When we call someone bougie, we mean they’re frequently into some of the finer things in life – food, fashion, culture, travel, and just about anything else that may be considered nice or fancy. Those who are referred to as bougie may be known for being sophisticated and classy due to their palate for different things that meet their desired bougie aesthetic. And while being bougie isn’t necessarily a bad thing, sometimes it can rub some people the wrong way. The word has been directed my way as an insult and sometimes as a compliment. But deep down, I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with being a little bougie sometimes.

I love bougie things like designer handbags, high thread count sheets, overpriced (yet delicious) lattes, viewing art and touring museums, and sipping and collecting quality bottles of wine. I’m also no stranger to getting massages, having a closet filled with colorful and quality blazers, enjoying mouth-watering charcuterie boards, binging on fancy home renovation television shows, and preferring almond milk over regular milk. I will not apologize for choosing to partake in different things I enjoy. And I want the bougie people in the world who are shrinking to know that it’s okay to come out of hiding. You are not alone.

Some people may think bougie people are out of touch with reality and are nothing more than snobby, over-educated, elitist, “I-think-I’m-better-than-you-and-everyone-else” types who spend their time and energy looking down on others and are spending money on different material items and experiences the average consumer may not be able to afford. While I believe bougieness is relative, it can certainly breed discontent for some – and in some cases, perhaps jealousy. But there’s no need to be salty. Truthfully, if you budget your money properly, you can board the bougie train too and do some of the cool things you see other people doing. You don’t have to be rich to have bougie experiences.

On the other hand, some people don’t mind being a little bougie sometimes and enjoy the occasional splurge. I mean, who hasn’t tried (or wanted to try) a fancy food or recipe or new restaurant at some point in their life? Or felt good stepping out all dressed up? Or been exposed to different cultures in the forms of music, movies, television, and art? These things are nice and can be so much fun to experience. So none of us are in a place to judge or criticize someone for being bougie. After all, there’s nothing wrong with being a little bougie sometimes. Now, it’s important to understand that being bougie doesn’t give you a license to be arrogant, rude, or obnoxious. It’s never okay to look down on others. So even if you are bougie, always aim to keep things kind and classy.

Unfortunately, there will always be people who might feel like you’re doing “the most” or won’t be happy to see you enjoying your life and doing different things that make you feel good, but life is short. You don’t have to explain yourself to anybody or feel guilty for doing different things you love, even if some of the things you enjoy are considered a little bougie. Just know there’s nothing wrong with being a little bougie sometimes.

* This article was originally published here

It’s Time To Reclaim The Meaning Of Beauty

I want you to sparkle. To stop denying yourself beauty for the sake of practicality or intelligence. We must reclaim beauty for what it truly is—life essence dropped carefully, shared spontaneously, drank in eagerly, appreciated reverently.

A wanting for life and its courageous glory is what wakes us, keeps the heart beating. You cannot tell me that beauty is not the bones of where hope lives. This beauty is not a quest for answers or the temporary. It is a need that vibrates up your spine and through every cell, already existing in sustainable bravery.

You just have to see it, darling.

We must reclaim the meaning together, the sheer primal truth of beauty. It is not found in waist measurements or catalogs or in a store. Beauty, as I see it in you, is the devotion to live a full life knowing yourself and allowing desire to unfold into adventurous transformation.

It is everything that makes a life.

The material is allowed to matter in the way it holds you, embraces your sacred journey. It is the details of you overflowing in expression as you change and build life after life.

I see you living it all. Heart drumming, wild, ribcage in the earth, guttural howling, the deep surrender of grief. Twirling, dizzy on love in a garden full of perennials lit by stars and candles. Pounding rubber soles on asphalt, tears streaming, arms pumping, sweat streaming, the finish line.

There are moments in between filled with soft light and boredom. Days that disappear in a haze. And I see you there with your lists growing in the existentialism of life’s purgatory. And this too is beauty.

You deserve to thrive. To feel your pulse quicken by the excitement of life. To decorate your world with all the beauty that being human invites. Beauty is in your very existence. That is the meaning. Knowing simply that you are alive in the world.

* This article was originally published here

8 Reminders When Things Keep Going Wrong

1. You can’t control what happens to you. But you’re in control of your own actions. That means you should do your best to cope with a bad situation. It might not be fair. It might not be fun. And it might not be your fault. But it’s your responsibility to deal with whatever life throws at you.

2. You’re going to get through this. Whenever you go through a rough time, you’re proving to yourself how much you can handle. You might feel like you aren’t going to get through your struggles right now — but you’ve felt that way in the past and have proven yourself wrong. Every time something unfortunate happened to you, you’ve made it through. And you will again.

3. You don’t have to see the silver lining. Too much positivity can be toxic. Sometimes, shitty things happen. There’s no real reason for them, and there’s nothing to learn from them. If remaining positive helps you get through the bad times, that’s great — but don’t force positivity when you’re sad. You’re allowed to be upset when something horrible happens to you. Let yourself feel those feelings. Don’t push them away or invalidate them.

4. You’re not the only one who is experiencing pain. Even though you might feel like no one around you understands what you’re going through, there are plenty of people out there who do. You aren’t alone in your pain. You aren’t going through this alone, even if it feels that way right now.

5. You can make a change at any time. You can’t change your partner, but you can change your relationship status. You can’t change your boss, but you can change your career. You can’t change your town, but you can change the place you choose to call home. If you’re unhappy where you are, you’re capable of changing things. You have more agency than you realize.

6. When it rains, it pours. When one thing goes wrong, you’re going to be hyperaware of everything else that goes wrong in the aftermath. You’re already primed to be upset. Plus, when you’re expecting things to go wrong, you can sometimes cause that thing to happen. For example, if you’re assuming someone is going to treat you poorly and enter the conversation by treating them poorly, then they probably aren’t going to be in the best mood.

7. No one is perfect. Even if you are to blame for something going wrong in your life, you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. You’re allowed to screw up — as long as you take responsibility for your actions. Apologize when you’ve hurt someone. And try to be more mindful in the future.

8. Nothing worth having is easy. It’s hard to reach your dreams. It’s hard to make friends. It’s hard to make a relationship work. It’s hard to save up money. It’s hard to find a house. Whatever you’re trying to achieve probably isn’t easy, so be gentle with yourself. If you keep trying, you’ll get what you want one day.

* This article was originally published here

5 Toxic Mindsets That You Need To Get Rid Of To Live A Better Life

Toxic mindsets are beliefs about our lives or ourselves that we develop from unfavorable circumstances, traumas, unresolved childhood issues, and failure. We start developing these mindsets and they grow with us if we don’t treat them right away. They have the power to ruin our lives or hold us back from living the life we want or achieving our goals.

1. You are not good enough.

One of the most common toxic mindsets is the belief that we’re not good enough for something, whether it’s a certain university or a job or a relationship, because at some point in our lives we wanted something so badly and we didn’t get it or it went to someone else, thus it became second nature to fear not getting something we want because we don’t want to feel that kind of pain again, so we don’t even try. The truth is, we may not be qualified enough for a job we want and we may not be the right person for someone we want, but that doesn’t mean we’re not good enough, it just means that some things are meant to be ours or for us and it also means that we still have some work to do on our own before we can truly be ready for some experiences. The key here is not to let that mindset paralyze you from trying and you have to feel worthy and deserving of whatever you want, even if you don’t get it. In order to change the pattern, you have to change your mindset, even if the outcome is not the one you want. It’s all about what’s happening on the inside, not what’s happening on the outside.

2. Everyone leaves me.

Another common toxic mindset is the belief that everyone will eventually leave you, and that develops from childhood abandonment issues or losing someone dear to you at a very young age. You start building walls to protect your heart and eventually reenact the scenario that the people you love will leave you and you’ll end up alone, so you sometimes sabotage your own relationships. This is more evident in romantic relationships where one partner is always in a defensive mindset operating from a lack of trust and always feeling neglected and abandoned by their partner. To heal your abandonment issues, you must first get to the root of how it all started and which parts of it are you carrying into your relationships. Are you triggered because your partner did something offensive or are you triggered because this behavior reminds you of an old wound that you still need to tend to? Self-awareness and introspection in your own relationships are crucial to start healing your abandonment issues and getting rid of the beliefs that everyone will eventually leave you or things will always end badly. Your relationships can end for many reasons, but it makes all the difference when you look back and know that you gave it your all and you didn’t let your own limiting beliefs or insecurities define that relationship or determine where it goes.

3. You have to struggle to get what you want.

This is something we were all programmed to believe, statements like “no pain, no gain” or “life is unfair” keep us stuck in struggle mode. This belief may sound good at first but the reality of it is toxic, because anything that comes easy to us makes us feel like we don’t deserve it because we didn’t work hard for it. This mentality stops us from dreaming big or following our hearts or our passion because we are conditioned to believe that we have to work hard and struggle to earn the life we want, and we often feel guilty if we are living a less busy or stressful life than our peers, so we try to fill our time with things that don’t excite us just so we can go back home at the end of the day and feel ‘productive.’ It’s not a one size fits all for everyone, and if you are happy with the way your life is, even if you don’t work too hard or you’re not always swamped with things to do, then that’s all that matters. How others view your life is not your problem. We need to start believing that good things can be easy and struggle free and our dreams can be achieved without pain or struggle.

4. You can’t quit.

Similar to the previous point, we live in a society that judges quitters negatively. We’re always bombarded with motivational messages like “don’t quit now, don’t be a quitter, quitting is for losers… etc.” but sometimes quitting is the best and only option for you. I’m not saying don’t fight hard for what you want and what you love, but when you no longer have the energy or the motivation or the desire to keep going, when whatever it is you’re committed to is making it hard to wake up every morning and feel good about your life or yourself, it’s okay to quit. It’s okay to quit the job that makes you miserable. It’s okay to quit that relationship that’s been hurting you. It’s okay to quit living in a city that sucks the life out of you. Depending on your situation, sometimes staying is more toxic than quitting.

5. You have to be the bigger person.

Last but not least, learning how to be the bigger person was the way most of us were raised, but truthfully, it can be extremely toxic in some situations and with some people who cross the line and poison our lives. Being the bigger person doesn’t work with everyone because we are better off without some people in our lives. Cutting ties with friends or partners who constantly disrespect you or bring constant drama and problems into your life is the only healthy thing to do, and being the bigger person in these situations will only draw in more toxicity and more unfavorable circumstances. It’s important to be empathetic, kind, and forgiving in some cases, but you have to draw the line and set boundaries with people who don’t have any or people who only make your life more difficult.

* This article was originally published here

Keep Going, Even When You Feel Hopeless

Keep going, even when you doubt whether you have what it takes to make it through another day. You’ve had that thought before and you were wrong. You proved you were capable of making it through the unimaginable. You surprised yourself then, and you’re going to surprise yourself again. You’re going to keep moving forward, one small step at a time.

Keep going, even when you’ve screwed up. Don’t waste too much time feeling sorry for yourself. As long as you grow from the experience and try your best to do better in the future, then you should be proud of yourself. You’re only human. You’re not always going to say the right thing at the right time. You’re bound to fumble and fall. What matters most is how you bounce back from those setbacks.

Keep going, even if you feel completely alone. There are more people in this world who care about you than you realize. Even if you’ve lost a few along the way, there will be more waiting around the corner. Remember, you are worthy of attention and affection and undying love. You are going to find your people eventually. They’re out there, and they’re probably feeling as lost as you are right now — but once you come together, everything will feel right.

Keep going, even when you feel hopeless. Don’t give up on yourself because you are overflowing with potential. You are destined for beautiful things, but you need to stick around long enough to experience them. Even though it’s tempting to give up, you owe it to yourself to keep trying. It might be hard today, and it might be even harder tomorrow, but eventually making it through the day won’t be a struggle anymore. Eventually, you’ll discover the happiness you’ve deserved all along.

Keep going, even when times are hard. Life isn’t always going to be fun and exciting. There are going to be road bumps and obstacles along your journey. You’re going to have moments when you feel like everything is coming together and moments when it feels like everything is falling apart. This is normal. This is what it means to be human.

Keep going, even when you aren’t sure what you want out of this world. Even when you feel like there’s nothing out there that could possibly make you happy. Remember, the way you’re feeling right now is temporary. You’re not going to feel so uncomfortable forever. But you need to make the choice to take care of yourself. You need to put effort into feeling better because you deserve to be okay.

Keep going, even when you’re exhausted. Remember, strength doesn’t mean putting on a fake smile and accomplishing everything on your to-do list. Sometimes, strength is simply getting out of bed in the morning and making yourself your favorite breakfast. Sometimes, strength is stepping into a cold shower when all you want to do is sleep. If you can’t do anything big, start with the small things. And if you can’t do the small things, that’s okay too. Sometimes, you need a second. Rest isn’t the enemy. You need to recharge. But you also need to have faith in yourself. You need to pick yourself up and keep going.

* This article was originally published here