How Taking Baby Steps Helped Me Achieve Financial Health

Over the years, I have realized how much my mental state has been crucial to other areas of my life including my productivity. My mental state drives my physical fitness or working at home with kids successfully.

So, it’s been no surprise to me recently that financial freedom could help address issues with my financial health. And how do you do it? By taking baby steps. Personally, I decided to follow the Dave Ramsey baby steps method, but I found that the biggest attribute lies in taking small steps to achieve the desired outcomes.

Let’s begin.

Why Baby Steps Equip You To Succeed

You may remember the Pick The Brain article, “How Small Steps Add Up to Big Goals: Achieve Your Dreams with “Little and Often””. In the article, you’ll see that writing just 20 minutes per day will result in a 70,000 word + novel or how committing to cook a couple of hours a week will result in hundreds of hours per year. 

Why does Baby Step equip you to succeed? Because we are busy human beings. As a father of 3 young girls (and 1 on the way), I can motivate myself to do something big, but my actual bandwidth is much smaller than I expect.

I will start something, but soon realize that I cannot attain what I am pursuing. Instead of breaking down the task into smaller steps, I too often will let that task go by failing.  You can find this in so many areas of life, but specifically in relation to your financial health.

Why Financial Health Is Important

Finances can be a major stressor in relationships and marriages. I was raised much differently than my wife when it came to finances. On a scale of saver to spender, I fell into a completely different spectrum from my wife. This can create conflict, but it can also provide opportunities to work through something together and become more aligned.

Finances can already be stressful before you tie in debt. Debt can be such an easy thing to get into, but a difficult thing to get out of. I speak with hundreds of people each year who have gone through a financial hardship, often considering bankruptcy. Many can easily themselves in a position with multiple short term payday loans owing hundreds of percentage points in interest per month. This can be debilitating, creating a funnel vision that is laser focused on debt.

Once I attained financial freedom, I realized how important financial health can be on your well being (and productivity).

How Financial Health Increases Your Productivity

Your productivity can be negatively or positively affected by your mental state. If you are constantly thinking about debt, how can you maximize your productivity in the workplace? You can’t. You can use this same principle for many things, but debt is a common distraction in America.

So, when you attain financial freedom through baby steps, you can also see your productivity increase in other areas of life. Is this relatable to you? Can you see that baby steps can help you achieve financial freedom and increase productivity? What holds you back?

Ben Tejes is the Co-Founder and CEO of Ascend Finance, a platform to help people achieve self-improvement in the area of personal finance. He writes on Christian Finance Blog where he covers such topics as Dave Ramsey and Debt.  He also writes on topics such as Emergency Funds and Debt Payoff Apps to help people get out of debt and experience financial freedom.

The post How Taking Baby Steps Helped Me Achieve Financial Health appeared first on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement.

* This article was originally published here

When Life Feels Overpowering, Read This

Perceiving Life Through A Biased Filter

“What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.” — Anonymous

How are you coping at the moment? Are you dealing with any problems? What do you think are the lessons contained within your difficulties? What would it take to improve your situation? Are you willing to consider it from a different perspective? I’m asking a lot of questions, since these are the kinds of questions we must ask ourselves to overcome our difficulties. Many people feel overpowered because they believe life is being imposed upon them instead of working out for them.

I know it may not always look that way, mainly because we look at our difficulties through a distorted lens. By this, I mean our negativity bias gets in the way and we misrepresent a situation, perhaps even exaggerating it, instead of examining it carefully. For that reason, journaling can be a powerful tool to become acquainted with our thoughts and emotions when life does not go our way.

Life is precious, yet it can be equally volatile. This is apparent through the wars that dominated humankind throughout history, the inhospitable conditions in third world countries, and unpredictable climate patterns. This doesn’t mean mother nature is unforgiving, because that is perceiving life through a biased filter. While we may not fully understand why unfortunate things happen, it is because we are limited in our understanding that surrounds it.

Life Responds To Our Level Of Consciousness

“Control of consciousness determines the quality of life.” — Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

We mustn’t focus on our difficulties but acknowledge them so we can process them without getting bogged down in negativity. Otherwise, we are likely to exaggerate our problems instead of recognizing life is evolving as it should. Therefore, our perception creates a color palette in which we paint the canvas of our life. This is a blank canvas and we get to decide the texture and tone of the painting. It is why life is a series of masterpieces, constantly developing and taking on form. For example, your perception of life in your earlier years will differ decades later. Hopefully, you will have experienced unique conditions to form your own beliefs.

We can observe life as a feedback loop based on our level of consciousness and personal growth. As our consciousness expands, our perception changes to correspond with our new understanding. I trust you get the sense that your life is not carved in stone but open to change, based on the degree of your personal growth. It is worth understanding this idea because we mustn’t succumb to our difficulties but see them as phases of expansion throughout our life.

Similarly, we ought to be open to new experiences and not label situations as good or bad. Otherwise, we withhold the goodness the universe is trying to express through us. As an example, what may appear as an unpleasant situation can be disguised as a blessing. It is difficult to judge a situation based on appearances alone because things aren’t always what they seem. Life has an unexplained way of developing, and our finite minds are limited in how they perceive situations. It is simply the nature of our biology to see things based on our conditioning.

We must give it time to unfold and not be convinced life is conspiring against us. This is because life is reflecting our level of awareness on any occasion. What you hold in your mind and heart is echoed back via your reality. The American mystic Neville Goddard echoed this idea when he wrote: “The world is a mirror, forever reflecting what you are doing, within yourself.”

Spectators In This Game Of Life

“To become a spectator of one’s own life is to escape the suffering of life.” — Oscar Wilde

To allow life to touch us intimately, we must not let the negativity of the world consume us. Negativity is broadcast into our living rooms day and night. Social media has become an outlet for moral outrage. People hide behind screens to voice their disapproval at governments, institutions, celebrities, and anyone who does not conform to their beliefs. If we buy into this narrative, we are convinced life is chaotic and senseless. This is not the absolute truth because we don’t know all the details to form an honest opinion. In most instances, we are given a glimpse of the information and form incomplete judgements.

For every negative news event, there are thousands of positive events we never hear about. Although we may not know why bad things happen, we can take comfort in the knowledge there is a mysterious power orchestrating the process of life, within the container of a greater plan. The greater plan I speak of may be a cosmic or worldly process, or it may be a greater plan according to your life’s journey.

In some respects, we are spectators in this game of life, and while we have more power than we realize, we are still at the mercy of life’s forces. But this needn’t deter us from living a meaningful life. We can take comfort in that the key to our kingdom lies within our hands and we can still co-create our life based on uncertainty.

The Obstacle Is The Way

“The greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it.” — Molière

With this in mind, I invite you to return to the opening questions in the first paragraph. If you keep a journal, answer the questions as journal prompts. If you don’t have a journal, write your answers on your smartphone or computer. Try to get a genuine sense of the issue you’re grappling with. Put aside your biases and consider the situation with an open mind. Don’t be swayed by your opinion alone, because if you asked five people about your situation, you would undoubtedly get five different answers.

There could be a valuable clue contained within your problem that you may be missing. The Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius said: “The obstacle is the way.” It requires unearthing the answers inside of you and keeping an open mind to what comes forth. Life can be a wonderful experience, yet it can be harsh and unforgiving. It doesn’t mean it is any of these things, but what we choose to give our attention to that shapes our destiny.

* This article was originally published here

Express Ticket To Success

Express Ticket To Success

Coaching • July 9, 2021, 12:00 am

8 Reasons That Explain Why You Fail

Everyone that’s ever tried to accomplish anything knows what it’s like to fail. While there are numerous reasons for failure, most of them can be boiled down to just a few possibilities. Understanding why you failed is important, because it educates you on how to improve your odds for success in the future. See if […]

The post 8 Reasons That Explain Why You Fail appeared first on Personal Development.

* This article was originally published here

Here’s Why Spending More Time Alone Is Actually A Gift

While at the end of the day human beings are social creatures, spending time alone could be one of the most difficult yet most profound things to do more of. For many people, the pandemic has given them too much time alone, but at the same time, it allows them to bring to light what they’ve spent so much time suppressing in order to come back from this difficult time with a fresh perspective, new energy, and greater appreciation for everything that they have.

Here are five reasons why spending time alone is perhaps a gift in disguise.

1. It gives you time to focus on your interests and hobbies.

We live in a fast-paced world that doesn’t offer much time for private reflection or contemplation. With that being said, spending time alone to work on your personal pursuits and ambitions will give you confidence like none other. It makes your interests a priority and allows you to think clearly about what you really want out of life, which we often push to the side.

2. It improves your relationships.

Yes, you read that correctly. Taking time to work on yourself does in fact ripple into every relationship you have, including the one with yourself. When you take time to understand yourself better and fill up your own cup, you have more to offer to the close relationships in your life that you value most. A lot of the time, the greatest growth a person can have is when they are spending a lot of time with themselves.

3. It makes you more productive.

With so much extra time spent at home, we have more time to make progress towards building a life that we are truly proud of. It takes hard work and perseverance to make things happen for yourself, but when you spend more time alone, you don’t just have more time to be productive but your work ethic also improves with less distractions. Use your time alone wisely and you may very well make important strides in your life by learning how to manage your time properly.

4. It helps you deal with your anxiety.

For many people, spending time alone brings their anxieties to light. However, this is crucial for understanding your anxiety and learning how to combat it. You see, so often we repress our anxiety because of the way it makes us feel instead of leaning into it to understand it better. When you become aware of your anxiety, that is when you neutralize its power and spending more time alone can get you far more comfortable in doing so.

5. It helps you solve problems.

As a procrastinator myself, I admit I often push off deep-seated problems by clogging my days with a million things to do. But meanwhile, these problems only add up in greater and more monumental ways. When you allow yourself to be alone and sit with your problems, you give yourself the opportunity to come up with creative solutions. It not only helps you gain control but gives you confidence in your ability to deal with anything life may throw at you.

* This article was originally published here

An Open Letter To 17-Year-Old Me

“Remember, we are our own griefs, my dear, we are our own happiness and we are our own remedies.” – Huseyn Raza

To my 17-year-old self,

Hello, Beautiful!

We are about one week out from our 27th birthday. Ten years from where you are now. And my love, what a decade it has been.

I know that you are in the midst of going into your senior year of high school, and becoming Dance Team captain, and starting as a camp counselor, and applying to college. And I know that on paper, that sounds like a lot of fun and kind of like a dream come true. And I know that you are putting on smiles and sparkles for the world to see, winning awards for your academics and extracurriculars, all the while continuing to be a good friend and an even better daughter. But I also know that inside you are struggling. And at night you cry. And you don’t find beauty in your appearance, whether it’s your frizzy hair or cystic acne causing that day’s dismay. And you have more imposter syndrome than any teenager should have to cope with. And you don’t have clarity around your mental health. And you think you are less worthy than other girls because you don’t get asked to the Homecoming dances or Prom. And on some days you feel like no one wants to be your friend. And you are in constant physical pain because the doctors haven’t been able to help your spinal injury yet. And I know that you so badly want high school to be over and for college to begin because you think a change of scenery will make everything better.

I know all of these things. But I also know what comes next for you. And I want you to know too. Because it gets better, my love. It gets so much better.

At 17, you will be accepted into one of your top school choices. And it’s a beautiful day when that happens. And although YOU won’t believe you deserve the celebration that ensues, you do deserve it. Because you spent the last 12 years of your life over-achieving and joining clubs and rising in sports teams so you could one day take part in higher education.

At 18, your best friend from high school will set you up with your freshman year roommate who will become your very best friend, your confidante, your biggest cheerleader, and your roommate for the next seven years. She will be there with you through the biggest milestones (and setbacks) of the next 10 years. She will then be the catalyst that creates the rest of your college experience, introducing you to a group of amazing girls whom you can call home.

At 19, while you are enjoying the adventures of being a college student, you will also be diagnosed with severe Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). This diagnosis brings you clarity and light and answers to some of the mysteries of the past few years, but it also brings you hard work, sleepless nights, tears, and struggle. But you come out a stronger, healthier human. Mental health becomes your passion, and you will embrace it fully.

At 20, you will move into a house off-campus, which will become the pinnacle of your college experience. You will throw parties and attempt to cook and share a shower with seven girls. But then you will be rushed into emergency spinal surgery. I know you are sighing with relief at this. And yes, your back pain subsides. It’s not perfect and you will have to continue to work hard to maintain normalcy, but you can walk and dance and sometimes you can even run.

At 21, post-college, you will backpack Europe with three of your best friends, where you will drink red wine and kiss European boys and sprint to catch trains and laugh harder than you ever have before. You will find joy in the little things, and you won’t sleep much, but it will be worth it. You will still talk of these adventures six years later, knowing that they will continue to be reminisced upon for a lifetime.

At 22, you will go to graduate school. You will meet lifelong friends who feel like home and learn that you are a compassionate leader who can thrive in the world of business. You will start your career and be reminded that women belong in the workforce, always. Your manager at work will take you under her wing and she will become something of a big sister to you. Cherish her always.

At 23, you will move to Chicago with your two best friends, your soul mates. And you will spend the next two years learning how to stand up for yourself in your professional life and how to advocate for yourself in your personal life. And those two best friends will be there for you in this with each step, each stumble, and every leap of faith. They are the Monica and Phoebe to your Rachel.

At 24, one of your best friends in Chicago will throw you a surprise birthday party. And it will become one of the best nights of your life. And it is on this day that you will finally feel at home in Chicago. You will know that you are on the right path, the right wavelength of life.

At 25 and 26, a pandemic will ensue across the globe, and this will give you the free time in your schedule to understand how to take care of your mind, body, and soul. It will be a hard year for a lot of people, yourself included. Death will ensue and sickness will be widespread. And health will become your priority. Your longevity will become top of mind. You will learn that wellness is holistic, and you will be an advocate for that in your communities. You will live at home for a span of time during this, and you will cherish your family more than you ever have before. They will always be your best friends, now and forever.

Through all of this, you will survive, and soon you will thrive. And you will fall in love. And then you will get your heart broken. And then again. And again once more until you realize that the only love story that matters right now is the one you have with yourself. You will experience the highest of highs where you sparkle and shine, and you will experience rock bottom, crying into your dad’s arms while he holds you tightly on your living room floor. But here is the amazing thing about you, my love—you always know how to get back up. You ALWAYS get back up. Whether the mountain you are climbing is physical or mental, you don’t give up. You keep going. You are resourceful. You will learn how to hold your head up high. You will understand what it means to be YOU. You will start to value your opinions over the opinion of others. You will keep friendships alive that mean something to you, and you will say goodbye to others. There will be pain, but there is also so much light and a whole lot of love.

I know that you are looking in the mirror and you don’t like what you see. I know that some days you want to run and hide. I know that bullies are mean. But I also know that one day when you look in the mirror, you will see beauty. And I also know that eventually, you won’t run from you, but you will embrace your sparkle. And I also know that bullies are people who are just as hurt and scared as you are. And one day you will look back and want to give yourself the biggest hug. Because now you know that you deserve love. You deserve kindness. And you deserve warmth. But most importantly, you will learn that you deserve all of these things not only from others, but from yourself.

Be patient, enjoy every moment of the next 10 years, and keep smiling. Because one day the smile you have to fake right now will be nothing but genuine and real. I love you.

* This article was originally published here

Attachment Theory in Relationships

Have you ever jumped from relationship to relationship every few months, wondering why you can’t find the perfect partner? Or maybe you’ve been left wondering why the partners you choose are always emotionally unavailable. What if you knew that your relationship choices and the way you attach to others has been established since you were […]

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* This article was originally published here